CassyInHerOwnWorld

Book Review: Sophie & Carter

2011-12-25T04:58:00.001+01:00

Book: Sophie & Carter
Author: Chelsea Fine
Link: Amazon.com: Sophie & Carter

Summary:

Sophie and Carter live in the bad part of town. Sophie's mother is never around to take care of her four children, so the job falls to Sophie until the kids run out of money. Carter takes care of his mentally unstable mother so the state won't take her away from him. They're seniors in high school, minutes away from graduation and life is starting to weigh down on them. Their only escape is sitting on the swinging bench on Sophie's front porch at night together, talking about everything and nothing at all. At school, they pretend not to know each other to make their lives a little easier. Who needs high school drama when your life is slowly falling apart at the seems? All Sophie and Carter need is each other to hold on to so they don't fall off the edge.

Review:

I started reading this book with high expectations. Amazon reviewers praised it, the summary sounded interesting and I'm a sucker for teenage love -- especially if there's a picture of crisp white t's and blue jeans on the cover. At first, I was a little annoyed with the style of writing. First person POV, present tense, characters personified through their font style instead of through their writing. But after the first few pages, I forgot about all that and got into it. Really into it, in fact. The characters were sympathetic, they seemed real. I felt I could easily fall into the role of Sophie, living next door to a kind and gentle Carter, I could see myself falling in love.

And thus began the downfall of the book. I got so wrapped up in the characters and the story and the intricacies of it all that I couldn't put it down until it was over. Which, I discovered quickly, was far too soon for my liking. All in all, I loved the book until it ended, because it ended. I felt there could have been a little more meat on the bones of that book, but maybe it's just me.

Best Friends

2011-11-11T17:35:00.001+01:00

So, I don't quite know how I got on the topic, but I found myself in the bathroom this morning thinking about it. And before you people think dirty things about me, I was at the sink. So there. ANYWAY...

You know the saying "you can't choose your family"? Well, the same goes for best friends, in a way. I mean, think about it. When you first meet people, you don't know anything about them. They could be the nicest person in the world and then turn out to be a mass murderer or something, but it doesn't matter because that murderer is your best friend and that's all that matters to you.

And as I was thinking about this, I was wondering why that is. Why are we predetermined to like some people and not others? Surely, some factors are based on how they react to you, some people are just plain mean, but hey, even they have friends who must like them. The fact of the matter is, people become friends based on their first reaction to each other. Think back to kindergarten, when everyone was a new face and no one was friends. How fast did it take you to break out of your shell and become best friends with someone?

I hate to quote High School Musical here, but Gabriella was right. You meet a person and then five minutes later, you're best friends. Now, you could argue that that's just the naivety of the 5-year-old. But think of middle school, junior high, high school, college. It's the same basic principal. It may take a little longer based on past experiences, but in a very short amount of time, you're best friends.

You could also argue that you do choose your best friends because you choose the people you talk to. But why do you choose them? Is it the clothes they wear, the expression on their face? No. You may disguise it as that, but in reality, it's their aura. It's just something about them that screams "HEY! I wanna be your best friend!" In a matter of hours, you could be the closest people in the world. It's not scientific, it's basic primal instinct.

And the same goes for when people come up to you to talk. They got the same signal you would have gotten had you seen them first. And for the people who meet online, well...they say the computer screen does not convey emotions very well, but it does. You may not catch every witticism or sarcastic remark. You may not even be able to always tell when someone is happy or sad, but I strongly believe that a personality can be transported through the information super highway from their computer to yours. It's just that feeling you get when you know something is right. It clicks.

And for the people who say you can only have one best friend...Well, they've obviously led a very sheltered life.

-- Cassy

Rant on Katy Perry

2011-10-25T01:46:00.000+02:00

Ok, so I'm pretty sure everyone has heard at least one Katy Perry song in their life, especially if they're reading this blog right now. I'm not going to come out and say that Katy Perry is a terrible artist, because in all reality, she really isn't. In fact, she's kind of a brilliant genius, but what she does with her genius is what troubles me.

Take her first big hit, "I Kissed A Girl". In this song, she admits to having a boyfriend and cheating on him ("I kissed a girl and I liked it/ Hope my boyfriend don't mind it"), doing so under the strong influence of alcohol ("I got so brave, drink in hand") and she also pretty much excuses her less-than-chaste behavior by calling it "human nature" and an "experimental game". Now, this is all well and good when you think about it. It's just a song, right? We're all adults, right?

Wrong. Statistics show us that over 50% of the people listening to that song at any given moment are teenagers under the age of 16. Is that really what we want to promote to young impressionable minds? That cheating, drinking and objectifying go hand-in-hand and that it's OK if you're under the influence of alcohol? I don't know about you, but that's not exactly something I would want my children to learn.

And I could stop at that song and say that's the worst of it, but it goes much deeper. Almost every Katy Perry song has some hidden horrible message for children and young adults. For example, "Teenage Dream". It sounds innocent enough, but when you actually delve deeper and listen to the lyrics, it turns into some pornographic nightmare. Now, I could say that she makes having sex when you're a teenager OK (come on, who am I kidding? If 11-year-olds are already having children, there's really no hope for them, even if songs didn't promote it) and that that's what is fundamentally wrong with this song, but that's actually not the part that sets me on edge. The chorus, while incredibly catchy, is filled with things I, yet again, wouldn't want my children subjected to. "You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream/ The way you turn me on/ I can't sleep/ Let's run away and don't ever look back" You make me horny -excuse the crass language- so let's run away together and make like the bunnies? Seriously?

And what about "Drove to Cali/ And got drunk on the beach" -- um, not even in California is it legal for teenagers to get drunk. Trying to tell us something, Katy? Or how about "I'ma get your heart racing/ In my skin-tight jeans/ Be your teenage dream tonight/ Let you put your hands on me/ In my skin-tight jeans/ Be your teenage dream tonight"? Now, I could just be misinterpreting Miss Perry's meaning to the song, and saying that all of those things happened when she was an adult and it FELT like she was a teenager, but still. She still makes it seem like this is what your average teenager dreams of. Getting drunk, falling in love, running away together. Not my kind of dream, for sure.

And now onto my hardcore pet peeve: California Girls. This song not only irks me because I'm from the East Coast and I don't like how she makes EC girls seem lame (which believe me, is so not true in reality), but because she makes it seem like every girl from the West Coast is, to be frank, a beach bimbo and a symbol of sexuality. The video alone makes me want to puke every time I see it. Girls with "perfect" bodies dressed up in candy bikinis and daisy dukes, acting like it's how every girl should be like if they want to be loved? And the song lyrics are just as insulting. "You could travel the world/ But nothing comes close to the Golden Coast/ Once you party with us/ You'll be falling in love" and "California girls/ We're unforgettable/ Daisy Dukes/ Bikinis on top/ Sun-kissed skin so hot/ We'll melt your popsicle"...May I remind you of the 12-year-olds listening to these songs? And then, to add insult to injury, at the end of the song, Snoop Dogg says he wishes every girl could be a California girl, as if that is the only respectable girl in the world. Um, I think not, thanks. I would rather be pale and curvy and live on the East Coast than be a brainwashed beach tramp any day, thanks.

Those three songs are just the tip of the iceberg with Perry, though. If you listen to One of the Boys or If You Can Afford Me, this vulgarity is continued. And what's worse, Katy Perry doesn't just sing about this stuff, she embodies it. She pretends to be as innocent as a little school girl -- which, by the way, only enhances the male libido when he hears that baby voice -- and blatantly ignores any insinuations that her songs are inappropriate. When Sesame Street refused to use the clip she'd filmed with Elmo singing Hot and Cold, she simply could not fathom why parents didn't want their children to watch her scantily-clad self running after their favorite fictional character. Grow up, Katy.

One thing I will say for her is that she has one absolutely fantastic song amongst all her atrocities. "Firework" is amazing and I love both the video and the message. Empowerment, self-love and pride and strength are the core of that song and I'm glad she finally decided to do something worthwhile with her music. Katy is a talented young artist. She has promise and the uncanny ability to score hit after hit after hit, but what she does with her lyrics I simply cannot agree with. If she keeps spouting songs like "Firework", I'll be sure to be a fan, but if I have to listen to another version of "Teenage Dream", I might actually want to kill her.

-- Cassy

Edit -- Reeeeeeewind

2011-07-12T16:32:00.000+02:00

You know how people say things never stay the same, they're always changing? Yea, even set-in-stone plans do that. So, while I thought I was going to be living with my best friend Kaytee, when I got here I found out my sister wanted me to stay with her to help take care of the baby.

The good news about that is that I will have steady internet, so our love-hate relationship will continue! Aren't you so glad? ;)

So, since I'm already here and everything, I suppose I should tell you about my 4th of July. :D

I went to my boyfriend's house to spend the holiday with him and his family, although we spent about five minutes actually in his house before getting in their van and riding up to their friend's house to go swimming and bbq ;) It was really nice, but Dib and I didn't really get to talk too much, mainly because we were both really really shy and didn't really know what to be talking about, and then because his entire family was there and playfully putting him down cause he's a little socially awkward (not that any of that was his fault -- first date spent with family and strangers his girlfriend doesn't know? Not exactly ideal, if you know what I mean...). But his family is amazingly awesome and I love them dearly because they're also hilarious :D

What I forgot to mention is that when Eric picked me up from the Middle School (because I didn't feel like making him try to find my house -- which may only be like 2 and a half blocks away from the school, but it's hard to find if you don't know what you're looking for!) he had 2 stuffed animals for me that he'd won in the claw machine from work <3 It was so adorably sweet and considerate (seeing as he knows I melt for stuffed animals xD). One was a squishy parrot and the other was some odd fairytale bird that I'm not really sure is an actual animal in the real world, but it's cute all the same. So he's begun the slew of creatures I am sure to accumulate over the next however many years with two very special birds and made his girlfriend very very happy.

To continue from the pool party...

After we'd swam and ate and swam and went to Weis and swam and talked some more, we finally decided it was time to go down to the park at around 9 (fireworks started at 10) so we could find a good place to set up the chairs and blankets to see the fireworks -- incidentally we were like 10 feet away from where they were being shot from. We walked around for a little while (trying to FIND where the firework station was, because they sit that close EVERY year) and once we found a good spot, five of us headed off to the stands at the carnival to get some funnel cake and water and while Dib and I were in line with his sister to get her some chocolate-covered cheesecake on a stick, we ran into some friends, which made it a really really nice 4th of July for me.

That day ended with Dib and I watching Ocean's 11 (which I have dubbed our movie, since it's one of our mutual favorites) until 2 in the morning, at which time I had to retire to the library/computer/guest room and sleep. The next morning was also fun, as I awoke at 10am and went downstairs to snack on poptarts and talk to Dib's mom while he continued to sleep (poor boy stayed awake until 4am again that night :/). He came down while we were looking at pictures of Dib's hockey years :D

After his mom left, we watched a movie, then Doctor Who, had dinner with his family and then he took me home with a nice hug.

Depsite people's expectations, no, we did not sleep together (even though we did end up having the chance), and no, we didn't even kiss. We're a very slow couple ;) But that's ok, because it makes the first times oh-so-much-more special :D

--Cassy

A New Beginning

2011-06-19T00:41:00.000+02:00

Well, I'm sad to say that we won't be speaking for long amounts of time. Longer, in fact, than most of the time between the other posts have been. You see, Blogger, I just passed my final exams and in 3 days (because it's 12:30 Sunday morning at the moment), I will be graduating high school. If I told you about my awesome school plan, you'll be disappointed to hear that I will not be getting my schooling here in Austria, but have rather been forced to take the road back to America.

Not that that's a bad thing, to be sure. In fact, I'm quite excited. Being out of my parents' house at the ripe age of 19-almost-20? Everyone's dream. Moving in with my best friend? Always been our dream. Actually being able to see my boyfriend IN PERSON whenever I want? Heaven on Earth. Getting a job, working my way through the wonderful world of adulthood, spending Christmas the way I remember it, free of worries about getting homework in on time (at least for a little while)...

But there are the downsides that come with this lifestyle. Namely: Being an ocean away from my mother? Not being able to talk to her every day or hug her or see her? And I know what you're thinking, "There's always the internet, Skype, webcams, holidays, vacations"... But the fact is: We're not gonna be well off enough to be able to afford annual trips to or from Europe to see each other. Once every three years MAYBE. Unfortunately, Kaytee doesn't have an internet connection at her house, but if I'm lucky I can always hit up a McDonald's for some free wifi and maybe Dib might let me use his Skype (or at least his internet) to call her once in a while. But those times will probably be few and far between, I'm afraid.

Which is also the reason for the blogging-standstill. No internet = No blogging. But hey, since the only person who reads this thing is the person I'll be living with, I guess the main intention of the blog is pretty pointless now. Oh well...It was nice to have an online diary. Maybe if I get famous (since that's apparently what the entire faculty of my school now thinks I'm destined to do), I'll print all this out and make a book. I have a lot of material. This blog, Facebook surveys, Myspace blogs, handwritten journal entries (that I can only partially read, to be honest...bad handwriting. On my checklist for things to do before I die: Clean up the handwriting) all compiled over the course of the last 7-8 years should make for an interesting book. And, of course, I still have the red felt journal my sister bought me in 2006, which I just wrote in for the first time in three (count 'em: THREE) years not too long ago.

Since I won't have this to vent to, I'll take the handwritten route and see what comes out of that. Although I'd most love to throw the piece of embarrassing trash AWAY, I will keep it. Might be worth something some day. But the other journals are cleverly hidden away in Germany, so...if you want to collect the puzzle pieces, you know where to find them, future readers of this blog. ;)

Come Monday, I will officially be a US citizen on patriotic ground. Whoo!

--Cassy

:D

2011-05-21T16:30:00.000+02:00

So, for the past two years I have been waiting for a time where a tattoo would not cost over 100 Euros, where my family or I had the money to spend on said tattoo and for myself to get the balls to do it. That time came yesterday.

On Friday, May 20th, 2011 at 3:10 pm in Vienna, Austria at the Spirit Tattoo Studio, I got a tattoo. And it's permanent. And awesome.

I debated long and hard what I would get. Chinese symbol that means something to me? A star cause I think it looks cool? Or something else?

I finally found the answer when I was looking through old photo albums. I found a bunch of pictures of my father and I just remembered how he used to have a pin in the shape of the ace of spades. I don't know where the pin went -- after he died we got some of his things and I think it was in them, but we must have lost it at some point or my sister has it -- but I realized that my most prominent memory of him is in that pin.

After having a rough time dealing with the fact that my father's not here (there have been a lot of monumental changes in my life over the past 2 years), I finally decided that even if I don't know who he was, even if I didn't mean as much to him as my sister did, even if I only got to spend 7 years with him, I want to be able to remember him. Have him be a bigger part of me than "that guy who was my father and then died".

You may think it's silly, you may think I'm dumb. But screw you.

Pictures to follow! (in 2 weeks when I can finally stop acting like it's an open wound)

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Thirty-one

2011-05-19T06:43:00.000+02:00

Write a letter to yourself.

So, I kind of forgot about this one, so it's a little late...But to be fair, it's called the 30 Day Writing Challenge, not the 31 Day Writing Challenge.

Dear Chloe,

I'm not really sure what they want me to write about in this one. But I've had that feeling before, remember? Your last few entries have been short ones, but there really wasn't much more to say, I guess, because what you wrote really did say it all. And hey, sometimes less really is more. I forgive you, I suppose. But if you do do this again in the future, try and elaborate a bit more. You know probably only 1 or 2 people are ever going to read it, but don't skimp! Maybe they want a little more than 2 sentences and a smiley.

Today is your four month anniversary with Eric. <3 It's good to know your heart still jumps when he says he loves you with no hinting (although yesterday you DID e-hug him into saying it, I suppose. But he could've just hugged back ^^). Hopefully, when you read this (in, you know, five to six years, maybe), you'll be celebrating your 6-year-4-month anniversary and you can look back on this time right now and smile.

Also, tomorrow is your tattoo appointment! Please tell me you don't chicken out and your friend doesn't welch on your deal...I'd like to see that tattoo on your shoulder, you know? It'd be an accomplishment and you'll feel really good about it every time you see it, don't you think? Plus, at least you know it has a deeper meaning than people might think when they see it. It doesn't really matter what they think, but at least you'll know what it means to you. Getting a tattoo that means something to you is far more important than getting one that'll just look good. In a few years when you're getting older and your skin's getting loose, it'll probably look bad, but oh well. It'll still be there. I hope it doesn't haunt you.

You know I like to ramble, so I'll cut this one short (you'll be begging me for more the next time you read this, jerk.).

--Cassy May 19th, 2011.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Thirty

2011-05-16T16:16:00.000+02:00

Someone in your family that means so much to you.

Poppy
Grandma
Mom
Dad
Phoebe
Andrew
Nathan
Aunt Susan
Uncle Sean
Meghan
Brianna
Tommy
Carl
Aunt Jen
Uncle Matt
Rachel
Julia
Ben
Emma
Uncle David
Aunt Donna
Emily
John
Elizabeth
Alexander
Nikolai
Anna
Katie
Peter
Juliana
Nicolas
and of course, the honorary family members:
Kaytee
Hannah
Crystal
Eric
Cory
Anja
Alina
Melisa
Chrisi
Sandra

You've made my life worthwhile. <3

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-nine

2011-05-15T21:11:00.000+02:00

What WAS your biggest dream in life (you wanted to do as a kid but no longer can)?

I wanted to be a veterinarian for the looooooongest time. But then I realized sometimes you had to hurt or kill animals and I couldn't bear doing that, so I gave the dream up.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-eight

2011-05-14T14:16:00.000+02:00

What is your biggest dream in life (what one thing do you want to accomplish)?

My biggest dream that is in the realm of possibility would be to open my own hotel (however unlikely that is starting to look).

My biggest pipe dream, that I really really really want but will most likely never ever ever get is to work behind the scenes on a movie or TV show set. Working with actors and directors, producers and technicians is my dream. Hard work that is fun at the same time, and even if it's just fetching coffee and water or something, it'd be worth it. Being a part of making movie magic, something I have been in love with since I can remember, meeting various actors that I've idolized in my mind to the point of no return, working with brilliant people with intriguing ideas I'd never be able to come up with...I want it really bad, but I just can't seem to make myself do something about it. I'm too scared of the possibility (the very likely possibility) of failure, that I'll go to Hollywood and hit rock bottom, or that I'll go to school to study a useful trade and not be needed, therefore wasting valuable time (after all, the younger you are when you enter Hollywood, the better off you're going to have it).

I wish it would happen, but I know it won't. But it doesn't stop me from dreaming of meeting someone who'll sweep me off to Lalaland and help get me on my way. -sigh- Dreams. They're torture.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-seven

2011-05-14T14:10:00.000+02:00

What is your vocation? (Why are you here on Earth?)

If I knew that, I'd get right to it. As it were, I do not know, therefore I cannot start. I could make guesses, I suppose, but what would that do? Ruin the magic, that's what.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-six

2011-05-12T17:47:00.000+02:00

How do you handle/deal with both success and failure?

I handle success with a smile on my face and failure with an even bigger one to hide my tears.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-five

2011-05-11T18:39:00.000+02:00

Discuss something you planned that ended up not being what you expected.

Life.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-four

2011-05-10T18:05:00.000+02:00

Discuss a spontaneous moment in your life that that turned out to be fantastic.

Trying out these 30 Day Challenges worked out pretty well. x)

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-three

2011-05-09T15:11:00.000+02:00

Describe a truly spiritual moment in your life.

I suppose any time I go for a walk late at night and there's no one on the street with me. I can look up and see the stars clearly and just talk. About anything. Life, death, friends, family, troubles, problems, happy things. I can ask questions, tell stories, jokes, random words. And when I'm done, usually a wind breezes past me, letting me know someone was listening.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-two

2011-05-08T12:34:00.000+02:00

Describe a dark/turbulent moment in your life.

I had one recently. I was out for a walk, listening to music, as usual, you know. Suddenly, I picture myself standing at the cliff where my aunt threw my father's ashes into the sea. I was standing there, just talking to him. Saying things that I've always wanted to say but never could. I started to cry -- in real life as well -- as I stood there (in reality I was still walking. How weird would it be to see a girl standing on the sidewalk crying? Probably not as weird as a girl walking the same stretch of sidewalk back and forth crying, but still...)

I only wish it'd been raining. That would've made that walk perfect.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty-one

2011-05-07T17:49:00.000+02:00

Write about your best friend (not significant other) and what makes them special.

Sidenote: I love that they assume one's significant other is automatically a best friend. It's not always the case. (But it is in mine. <3)

Kaytee:

She is just the right amount insane for me. She's outgoing and upbeat. She's beautiful and sees the good in everyone she meets. She's up for anything and has a wonderful soul. My life wouldn't be the same without her in it.

Hannah:

Probably the craziest of us all, but at the same time also the most down-to-Earth. And that's not just because she now has a little baby girl (<3 Lilyanna Park Knapper!). Hannah is proof that good things happen to good people.

Casper:

The toughest amigop of us all. The toughest and the one that gives me the most hope. She's so strong, has so much faith and is so positive that it's hard not to be around her. She has her dark moments, but she comes out of them stronger than ever.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twenty

2011-05-07T17:27:00.000+02:00

Discuss your favorite movie and why it's so special to you.

Oh, movies...How I love thee. I love them all!

Ok, that's a lie.

But the ones I watch are all beloved favorites, so it would be impossible to list every one and tell you why I like them.

But I suppose my ABSOLUTE, ALL-TIME FAVORITE iiiiiiss.....

Chocolat

Ok, not really, but it's damn near the top, and since I can't think of just one specific movie, I'll just use this one. ^^

I like this movie not only because the awesome Johnny Depp and Judi Dench play in it, but because the story is interesting, it's told well, the acting is phenomenal and the music is incredible.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Nineteen

2011-05-05T16:16:00.000+02:00

Something that shook your belief system to its core (a big disappointment in your life)

I'm not sure this has ever actually happened to me... Lucky, I know. But I suppose I can use this example:

I'm used to getting what I want. At home, at school, with people. For some reason, through no personal (intentional) influence of my own, I generally get things on my first try.

I applied for my Tourism Management training course in November 2010. I chose this course because it was the fastest way to get where I wanted to be career-wise and it also had the perk of being absolutely free save room and board charges at the school. Also, some of the hotels offered a place to stay at the hotel while I was working there, leaving me rent-free for almost two years (again, save 800 Euros for the entire two years at school --read: 200 Euros/Semester).

I applied, was contacted, was told I was granted an interview. I went to the interview and nailed it. Not long after it I was told I was accepted into the program and that I would be sent the list of hotels that were in cooperation with the program (read: where I would be working for the next two years). I received the list without a hitch, picked my top three and sent them back to the school, ready to send out some ass-kissing resumes.

My luck got me my desired, first-choice hotel. It was beautiful, inside and surrounding. It had a spa, pools, anything I could wish for. But it didn't have accommodations. I would have had to rent an apartment either from the hotel (350-/month, when I'm earing 600-700-/month) or find one on my own, which probably would have been tedious.

I declined.

The next hotel decided that it would be rude and not listen to my problems with transportation. I could not possibly come to them during the week (their hotel was on the other end of Austria, practically), and the train I could take from Vienna to Carynthia on Saturday was fine -- only I would have to stay overnight and ride back on Sunday. The HR manager was not at all friendly, nor did she make any suggestions of affordable places to stay the night, nor did she offer to let me have a room for the night at that hotel, as would be very courteous.

I declined again.

The third hotel was beautiful. No accommodations, unfortunately, but by then I figured: I just need a hotel, I'll worry about a place to stay later. The interview went well, we both smiled, she seemed nice, but it was short.

They declined.

Now I am currently waiting to be contacted (as directed by the school) by a fourth hotel to which they sent my application. I was told I would be hearing from the woman in charge this week so we could have our interview this week. It is now Thursday and I have not heard from the woman (who I should have heard from anywhere between Monday and Wednesday).

I am no longer convinced that I am lucky. In fact, if this hotel falls through like the other three did, I'm not sure I even want to stay in this program at all.

So it didn't shake my belief system to its core, but it has certainly been one big disappointment after the other.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Eighteen

2011-05-04T18:07:00.000+02:00

Someone you met randomly that's made an impact on your life.

I don't think this counts as particularly random, but I met my Austrian best friend by pure chance in 9th grade. I was new to the class, had grabbed a seat in the front row (my row of choice, get all the snickering out right now before you keep reading, jerks), and was minding my own business reading when all of a sudden, someone taps my shoulder and asks me if she and her friend can switch seats with me so they can sit closer to their friends. Naturally, willing-to-please as I am, I agreed and moved one row back (now I was sitting second row out of three. Practically in the shadows!).

Later that week, the girl's friend (the one who hadn't spoken with me, but had taken my seat), came to talk to me and told me she thought her friend had been rude and she really didn't want to sit up front and she was sorry.

From then on, we were fast friends. We stayed close for a long time, had our ups and downs as all friends tend to, and unfortunately, we drifted apart last year when I moved up to graduation and she had to stay behind in 11th grade, but she says she's ok with that, because she hated everyone in our class anyway.

She's made an impact on my life by just coming up to me first. The new kid at school, no one really knows anything about her...And in the short time I'd spent in the classroom prior to their request to take my seat hadn't convinced me that I would like the class all too much, but she changed my mind.

And I have to say, I'm very happy with how my academic career here ended (or is about to in a few days/a month).

Without her, I would've been the weird American sitting in the front row.

Thanks, Nika.

--Mimi

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Seventeen

2011-05-03T17:05:00.000+02:00

Someone with whom you shared a friendship/relationship that simply drifted out of your life.

Pretty much everyone I ever met before I moved any time up until Pottstown, PA.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Thirty

2011-05-03T16:57:00.000+02:00

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

On a lighter note...

2011-05-02T19:13:00.001+02:00

LILYANNA PARK KNAPPER

WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!

I can't wait to meet you and spoil you rotten with love, little girl.

I love you!!

-- Aunt Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 16

2011-05-02T19:12:00.000+02:00

A book I've read that changed my views on something

I have read a lot of books in my time (namely, 19 years). I don't know if I can say that any one book changed my views on anything, but a collection of them helped me realized that being creative is a gift -- one that you should never give up.

Ella Enchanted

Harry Potter

The Chronicles of Narnia

The Princess Series by Gail Carson Levine

Those are just a few of the books and series that I've read that had made a significant difference in my life. I learned that fantasy was just another way to express your feelings and that if you can do that on a regular basis, your life will seem much less of a challenge. Where people in books face dragons and emperors and witches and villains, in my life I've only ever really faced a few challenges.

I'm set in my beliefs, and books haven't really changed those. Then again, I don't really read any books that are all too life-changing. Although, the biography I did a book report on in the 6th grade made me proud to be an American woman, I suppose.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-nine

2011-05-02T19:05:00.002+02:00

day 29 - a song from your childhood

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Fifteen

2011-05-01T11:32:00.000+02:00

A band/musical artist whose music has impacted my life

I have to say that this would be Good Charlotte. It is my absolute favorite band. To understand why, I'd have to start with how I found them:

I was home alone during the summer in Austria, watching MTV, because it was the only channel that had English programs that were worth seeing (I wasn't much of a fan of CNN back when I was 12). The shows were over for the moment, but I decided to just leave MTV on because I didn't feel like tackling Austrian shows just yet. I don't remember many of the songs that were playing, but I do know that when Good Charlotte's "Predictable" came on, I was glued to the TV. It wasn't just the music, it was the whacked video that did me in. It was rock, it was deep, it was awesome.

Later, I went on the computer and tried to find the band that had mesmerized me. It didn't take long, and soon I was the proud owner of the Young & the Hopeless. I fell in love, plain and simple. The band had a myriad of songs, one for every occasion, every emotion. I loved listening to the album over and over again.

Then Chronicles came out and it was a new sound. Different from their last album, but great all the same. It took me to new levels of music and it was comforting to know that even though their sound had changed, their message hadn't.

Good Morning Revival was totally different than the last two. It was a lot more mainstream than I had hoped, but I can't say I didn't enjoy listening to it. By then, my taste in music had developed past pop punk to a little bit of everything. I was surprised, but not unpleased, to find that I could still get into their music.

And then Cardiology came out. I went nuts the moment I listened to it. So many feelings, so much of themselves and all of their fans went into that album. Parts of their lives, their histories were dedicated to each song. Harlow's Song (I Can't Dream Without You) and 1979 were big hits, as well as Last Night, and my personal favorite, Sex on the Radio. They had mixed almost every one of their albums into one, which was like Heaven for a listener.

I realize I forgot to mention their debut album, Good Charlotte (Self-titled). I had actually heard Good Charlotte songs before my discovery in 2003, thanks to my sister's late night music habit back in the States. I hadn't realized that I already loved them (I didn't know what band it was at the time, and I wasn't really into music at that point in my life, other than what I happened to hear on the radio or what CDs my mom and sister had), or that I could already practically sing the songs without the music playing. It was comforting to know that I'd loved them even before I really knew them.

Good Charlotte has been my fall-back since I found them. If I don't know what I'm in the mood to hear, I pick Good Charlotte. If I'm going through a tough time, a happy time, a sad time, an angry moment, I'll pick some songs that reflect my mood or deter me from it. Good Charlotte is an all-around band, one that's never out of style and will never stop being a band I can look to for guidance or cheering up.

Much of that has to do with the memories of the concerts I've gone to. One in the summer of 2006, and one January of this year. Both of them were completely different experiences, and yet they were the same. In 2006, I went to the open air concert with my mother, rocked out to every single song (got a few looks from the people standing next to me, in fact). I didn't know all the words to all the songs, but I made due with what I knew (it was their European GMR tour and I hadn't had the chance to buy the album yet, unfortunately). I swear (as does my mother) that Joel smiled and waved at me during the concert, which made my decade.

The second concert was, as I said, just this year. I bought the ticket (went by myself this time), went there, waited outside in the blistering cold for two hours to be let in. Gave my jacket and purse up, bought a T-Shirt (because I wasn't letting the opportunity pass me up once again), and went into the large concert hall, securing my place in the second row. It was a long wait for the concert to start, the opening band was good, but it was nothing compared to when Good Charlotte finally came on. From the moment they stepped on stage, all Hell broke loose in the crowd.

I maintain that no one knows how to do a concert better than Good Charlotte (of course, I've only been to Good Charlotte and Fall Out Boy, so what do I know?). Good Charlotte doesn't just play the songs from a list, they play the songs for the fans. They expect us to know the words, they make us jump and scream and sing and dance and yell and have fun. They talk to us, get to know us, ask us questions and make jokes. I could go on and on about their concert and the experience it was for me, but I don't want to make this longer than it shoulder be. All I'll say is: Joel Madden jumped off the stage and thrust himself into the crowd and gave me a kiss on the cheek. No lie. I could've died.

After the concert, I waited in the cold again for another hour and a half for the band to come out. I got signatures and pictures from everyone in the band, except Joel, unfortunately, because he was sick. I got to talk to Paul a little longer than everyone else and he promised he'd be in New York this summer for a special concert. ^^

This is why Good Charlotte has impacted my life: They're not just any old band who signs an autograph and takes a picture. They actually go out of their way to talk to you, make you feel special.

As I watched the bus drive away (twice, actually, because I caught it again in front of the hall on my way home), I felt really good. It made my year, that concert. I love Good Charlotte, and I wish I could go to all their concerts. If I could, I would.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-eight

2011-05-01T10:53:00.002+02:00

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty

day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Fourteen

2011-04-30T20:41:00.000+02:00

Someone who has made my life worth living

Again, I'm not entirely sure how to answer this. There have been so many people in my life that have made life a little easier, a little better, a little brighter, a little...more than it should be. My mother, for one, is an inspiration all on her own. At times, she worked 3 jobs just to make ends meet, but she always made life something to look forward to. She survived 3 miscarriages, 2 daughters, one divorce, an abusive relationship, fleeting romances, countless moves, several dead end jobs, broken limbs, scratched knees, huge fights, even bigger disappointments, being completely broke and overdrawn, and overall a very hard life. Through it all, she never let on how hard it was on her.

My sister gave me hope. We never had a good relationship when we were younger (in fact, we took sibling rivalry to the extremes at most times), but around her 18th birthday, we really got to know each other. Of course, it wasn't really hard -- we were both alone in Austria with no one to turn to but each other in the hours we didn't spend talking to friends online. But what really impressed me about my sister (and also scared me half to death at the time) was the fact that she had brain surgery and went on to recover beautifully. She experienced loss of sight, seizures, fainting spells, delusions, hysteria and loss of peripheral vision. She went under the scalpel in December 2003 and spent a few months at home recovering. She sported a long incision with staples puckering out of her scalp for those few months, her hair shaved down short. I'll never forget the hours we spent waiting in the hospital to hear how the surgery to remove the blood clot went. Sheer terror, and then relief. Now, she's expecting a baby this June after nearly 3 years of marriage. She gives me the hope that when bad things happen in life, people can still pull out of them well.

My best friends, Kaytee, Hannah and Casper all make my world go round. Without them, I wouldn't know what friendship really is. Without them, I'd be lost in a fantasy world. They, like my sister and mother, have been through crazy lives, with things like pregnancies, moves, depression and near-death peppering their existence. But through it all, they can still smile, still laugh, still have hope and courage and love. They still know that things will work out for them.

My boyfriend, Eric, is my shining light. And I know, it's sappy, but it's true. I know that when I have something to say or get off my chest, he's there to listen. We don't shy away from telling each other the truth: In fact, we don't have those kinds of secrets. I know on my part, at least, that when I talk to him, I am myself. Things that I would never say to someone else I can say to him. If I write something and then think it's too silly or stupid, I just shrug it off and say: "He knows me. He won't care." And it's true. I accept him for who he is, no matter what happens, what he does or says. It's comforting, knowing that there's someone in this world that I can fight with and know that we'll get through it. Hell, we've had almost 8 years of practice.

I don't even have to mention my family. Their support has been invaluable to me throughout the years.

That is what makes my life worth living. These people. I love them, and I need them.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-seven

2011-04-30T20:18:00.002+02:00

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Thirteen

2011-04-29T17:58:00.000+02:00

Discuss some of the things on your bucket list

On my bucket list, the list of things to do before I die?

I want an adventure. Something really exciting, dangerous, thrilling, amorous (maybe). I want one good rush of adrenalin in my life that I can look back on in my life when things get dull. It doesn't even have to be a long adventure, it could be just a few hours. But it should be something that makes me really feel alive.

I want to get married. I want to have a happy relationship with a man I love, have one or two children, live right outside the city with a small house and a backyard and perhaps a few animals. It's boring, it's overdone, it's stereotypical, it's apple pie American, but it's my dream.

I want to see Japan and Australia and Russia.

I want to be kissed in the rain. It is the most romantic notion I can think of, and I don't want to miss out on that experience. I'm 19 years old now and I still have yet to be really kissed. I definitely want that to happen before I die.

I want to be hit by a car. It sounds weird, and it is weird, but a car crash is my death of choice. I don't know why (maybe I inherited it from my father, who got in car crashes for attention), but I do know that I always wish I could be in a big, dramatic car crash. Preferably, I would be the only casualty.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-six

2011-04-29T17:46:00.000+02:00

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Twelve

2011-04-28T18:36:00.000+02:00

Something I hope to change about myself and why

I've never put a lot of thought into changing myself. Sure, I've had the odd kick now and then: lose weight, get in shape, better diet, stricter hygiene routine, clean my room, be nicer, etc. etc. etc. ... But they've all passed, either due to my lack of strong will to actually do these things or because I talked to a friend and realized I didn't need to.

I don't think people should change themselves unless it is absolutely dire. Telling an obese child they need to run and play and get in shape isn't trying to demean the child, although people might see it that way, it's trying to make it healthy and with that health comes happiness, because maybe it'll feel better and avoid early onset diabetes. Telling someone to stop smoking isn't trying to hurt them, it's trying to help them.

Of course, people try and change others all the time without any thought to the person's feelings. Americans trample cultures when they invade countries, as did the British and the French and the Spanish before them (in America itself, no less -- wonder where we learned it from?). Wives are constantly trying to change the way their husbands personalities, trying to make them stop bad habits, but they never realize that it's the habits they fell in love with. If you can put up with bad habits for however long it took you TO fall in love, you can put up with them long after you're married.

But I'm getting off topic.

I don't want to change anything about myself, because I am comfortable as I am now. My boyfriend hasn't tried to tell me to get my act together and change, and I won't do that to him, either. I wouldn't ever dream of telling my best friends they need to change their acts because that's exactly what makes them them. If we all changed and became out version of perfect, we wouldn't be the people we are now, and those people are truly good.

So, in actuality I can't answer this question the way they probably envisioned it being answered. I don't wish to change myself because I don't see the need.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-five

2011-04-28T18:24:00.000+02:00

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

UNFORGIVABLE

2011-04-28T18:22:00.001+02:00

So, two posts ago (counting this one) was my ONE HUNDREDTH POST! On this blog, anyway.

-gives self pat on the back-

I'm so proud of myself for getting to 100. Next stop: TWO HUNDRED!

Let's see if I make it!

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Eleven

2011-04-27T17:27:00.000+02:00

Something about which people seem to compliment me

Aaaaaah, finally something I can lash out about. It's not that I don't enjoy the odd compliment every now and then -- it's nice to be noticed, really -- but if every single freaking person on the PLANET continuously tells you how wonderful you are at something, it really gets on your nerves, doesn't it? I mean, please tell me it's not only me.

My thing is my "greatest asset" on the job market, according to my mother (who also compliments me about it, but not to me, to OTHER people): The German language. I can speak it, yes. I'm fairly fluent, yes. I can understand dialect and old German and I can even speak in slang, yes. I write a mean essay when I'm forced to in German, OK!! Just because I can do all that doesn't mean I'm a freaking lingual wonder! If you take any Tom, Dick or Harry (really trying not to laugh at those three names right now) off the street, stuck him in a country where he didn't know the language at 12/13, made him go to a tough school every day, then you can be damn sure he'd learn the language as fast as he possibly could, too.

I'm no oddity. I'm no genius. Do I possibly have a knack for languages? Maybe. Do I fee like gloating about that fact that I can speak two languages? No. (Although I have the feeling my friend Casper would disagree ^.-) I really, truly do not like it when teachers compare me to my classmates when I happen to have a better grade than they do in German. You know why I have the better grade? It's because I study and I try to do well and I've just learned all the crap we were tested on so it's fresh in my head. If you asked someone in America to explain the freaking past progressive to someone else, chances are they'd be one of the 95% that can't, because they never really learned it. They know what it is, how to use it in a sentence, when to use it in an essay, but they couldn't tell you exactly why or how to build it!

I have been here in Austria for seven years now, and if I couldn't speak the language, I would be stuck in some menial job with my head up my ass because I know that to survive in a country you need to learn how to communicate. And I was not the best German speaker when I got here!! I made so many stupid mistakes that I cringe when I read old writing samples. And I haven't stopped making mistakes. By no means have I perfected the German language. I still get tongue-tied and confused sometimes, I still err in my writing. I couldn't tutor someone in this language.

If people here don't know me and I initially speak German with them and then tell them later that I'm actually American and have only been here for 7 years, the look on their face is priceless. I do enjoy that look. And I enjoy hearing "you have absolutely no accent!", because it's an accomplishment and it's like they're accepting me as part of their culture. But when my German teacher tells me after every damned test that she wishes she could speak English as well as I spoke German, she'd be happy -- bitch, get out of the way because I want to explode! I can only smile and nod pathetically and wait and hope and pray that she gets done and I can go back to my seat, clutching my grade.

Anyway, I have ranted and I am finished. Happy reading & writing!

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-four

2011-04-27T17:11:00.000+02:00

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Ten

2011-04-26T19:15:00.000+02:00

Something at which I've been the champion or the best

Well...I've never won an award for anything. Unless you count the Citizenship Award I received in sixth grade. But again, I was not the best, and other people were awarded with them as well. I'm not much of a competitor, I suppose. At least not in the sense that I like to win lots and lots of awards and show them all off in a fancy-schmancy showcase.

I guess I've been the best in English class at school, but that's by default. I'm the only native speaker! I've been told that I was the best singer of the bunch of us when we performed the Sound of Music, but I can hardly call that an accomplishment.

I'm just normal, average, run-of-the-mill in every way, I suppose.

And I'm just fine with that.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-three

2011-04-26T19:09:00.000+02:00

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Nine

2011-04-26T03:45:00.002+02:00

Vacation hiatus! xO

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-two

2011-04-25T18:11:00.000+02:00

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Eight

2011-04-24T12:45:00.000+02:00

Vacation hiatus! xOOOO

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty-one

2011-04-24T12:44:00.000+02:00

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Seven

2011-04-23T15:39:00.001+02:00

So, apparently days 7, 8 and 9 are all a vacation hiatus. Dx

So...no posts for the next three days (funny how that worked out juuuuust in time for Easter, no?). I guess I should get to work on my school stuff...HAHA, I know, funny, right?

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twenty

2011-04-23T15:37:00.002+02:00

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 6

2011-04-22T16:39:00.001+02:00

Something that excites you and fills you with joy.

I don't think I have to explain this, but I guess I will, just so this post doesn't pale in comparison to the others. What am I excited about? What fills me with joy? The prospect of graduation being only 2 months away, the idea of summer playing with my emotions (and my skin color) outside, the thought of being back home in my native with all of the people I love.

I can already feel the spray of the ocean on my face as I stand in the hot, soft sand. I can taste my family's food, barbecues, watermelon, water ice, new babies, fireworks...Everything I think about every day, everything I miss when I think of home, everyone I see when I close my eyes, every day that brings me closer to those people, those feelings...that excites me. That brings me joy.

I don't think there's anything else I need to say. Sometimes, the less you write means more than if you wrote 5,000 pages.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Nineteen

2011-04-22T16:15:00.000+02:00

day 19 - a song from your favorite album

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 5

2011-04-21T19:07:00.001+02:00

Something in life that gives me balance

Something in life that keeps me balanced? I'm not quite sure what to make of this. I suppose I could say that I keep myself from going insane by going for long walks. No, not long walks on the beach under the moonlight or any of that romantic crap (please someone tell me what the hell is so romantic about the smell of salt and the feeling of squishy sand between your toes when you walk and the gross layer of salty sweaty water that accumlates over your skin when you go for a walk on the beach?). Sometimes, when I can't stand being around people, don't want to sit still, want to scream because I can't hear myself thinking, I go outside and walk off the steam.

It's a real release, just letting go of my emotions and thoughts and letting them and the accompanying music have free reign over my mind. Pounding the concrete, thinking about whatever suits me, feeling the wind in my hair and face...It's a nice feeling. One of the best.

Through these walks I've found a sense of balance, I guess you could say. When I can't handle the real world, I slip into my world (I like my world much better).

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Eighteen

2011-04-21T18:32:00.000+02:00

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio

day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 4

2011-04-20T19:35:00.001+02:00

Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy

This is my usual routine:
I get up
I wash my face
I do my hair
I do my makeup
I catch the tram
I go to school
I come home
I get on the computer
I talk with people
I log off
I go to bed
I do it all over again

What I enjoy most about that routine? Probably the talking with people after school. Not because I particularly enjoy talking (writing is more of my thing ^.-), but because of the people I talk to. You might remember my last post saying something about best friends? Well, yea. I talk to my friends, I talk to people on Facebook, I talk to my family sometimes, but the one person I can count on to always be on, to always have something to say, even if it's just, "Hey. What's up?", has definitely got to be my best friend. Otherwise known as my boyfriend.

I'm going to start off by saying that when we first met, it was definitely not "love at first sight" (which I'm happy about because I don't believe in that.). We were, what, 11, 12 years old, 6th graders starting middle school. We'd gone to different elementary schools (on my part, many different elementary schools), and now we were meeting for the first time in a big school, knowing we would know each other for at least the next three years.

I honestly want to say that we didn't like each other at first. At least, I think so. I'm a little hazy on the details of how we first met, what our first conversation was about (probably about math or something like that), what it felt like seeing him and talking to him. I just remember thinking that I annoyed him (and, knowing me, I probably tried to annoy him...). I was still friends with some of his friends, though, so it was inevitable that we talk a little.

I knew he was much smarter (and taller) than I was and that he seemed a little odd (who didn't at that age?), but I did not hate him. I wasn't gunning to be his best friend, but I certainly didn't shun him or anything. After two years of knowing each other, I had to move (so much for the "at least the next three years" theory...). Not just move to a new town, not move to a new state, not even move across the country to California. No, my parents took it to the next level: We moved to Europe.

And thus began our journey as real friends. When we were settled in our new temporary (because they were all just temporary...still are) home, and when I logged on to AIM, I started receiving messages from him. "Hey, what's up? How's Austria? Do you like it there? Do you miss America?" After a while, the questions stopped and we just started talking about anything and everything that pleased us. Until one day, when he asked me to marry him. As a 13-year-old girl, I laughed, naturally, and told him "No.", not knowing that he had actually meant the question literally (or as literally as a 13-year-old boy could mean a question like that, anyway).

Of course, little did I know that he had had a crush on me for a long time and was just too afraid to approach me while I was still in the realm of possibility. (Or so he told me). So, naturally, after that embarrassing rejection, he didn't ask me to marry him (or anything else) again. But, through a mutual friend, we did finally get together. We were together for two months, until I decided I didn't want a long distance relationship and it wasn't fair for him or for me.

Biggest. Mistake.

For the next 7 years, we got closer as friends, talking every day, and I suffered through his crushes and girlfriends (not that I ever blamed him), always wishing and hoping it was me. The phrase "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" hit me hard. Soon, we progressed from exes to best friends, and we still are. And, as of January 9th, 2011, we have been together.

So, this story's intent was just to show you why talking to him every day is my favorite part of my routine. There is no one else I'd rather spend my time talking to, and I hope that even if, God forbid, we do break up, we can still keep on talking every day, because I value his friendship more than anyone's.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Seventeen

2011-04-20T18:04:00.000+02:00

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Three

2011-04-19T17:42:00.000+02:00

Something with which I struggle

I struggle daily with the fact that I live over 4000 miles away from the most important people in my life (i.e. my family, my best friends, my boyfriend, my sister, my nephew, etc.). I don't want to be like "wah, wah, wah, I live in Europe, I'm a spoiled brat, my life sucks", because that would definitely not be me (most of the time ;)). No, my big problem is that my entire childhood was spent with these people, they're a very solid constant in my life, and things like holidays and special occasions are really hard to handle without them.

I couldn't go to two of my cousins' weddings, my best friends' graduations, my sister's college graduation, various family parties, prom with my best friends...It's hard. Sure, I have friends in Austria, and I love them dearly and I will definitely miss them when I (and yes, I will) leave, but it's not the same. The connections I made with the people back in the States are much stronger than those of the friends I've made here. For one, family is family and that's the strongest connection I can imagine. And for two, my best friends in the States I've known for literally half my life now. They're the first friends I didn't ditch after I moved, they're the first friends that I know absolutely I would do anything for. We've been through so much together that severing the connection between us would be dangerous for all parties involved.

We've survived the move, various boyfriends, strains on our personal relationships with each other and other people, family problems, depression, cutting, death and more. Life without them (and by this I mean COMPLETELY) is unfathomable.

But what I'm trying to get at here is the fact that I struggle every day with the desire to see them, talk to them in person instead of over IMing or the phone. Sometimes I think I should scrap all my plans for the future and just go back to the States and rough it like my sister, but at the same time I maintain my decision to study in Europe and move back when I have a degree to show.

Anyway, it's something I struggle with and I tried and smile through it, try to make people think I'm not suffering inside, but the truth is, I am. I just don't usually share my feelings.

--Cassy

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Sixteen

2011-04-19T17:11:00.002+02:00

day 16 - a song you used to love but now hate

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Fifteen

2011-04-18T21:29:00.000+02:00

day 15 - a song that describes you

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 2

2011-04-18T21:20:00.000+02:00

Something you regret not having done last year

Well, I can't really think of anything. It's only been like 4 months since last year, but still, I can't remember thinking at any time last year that I regret not having done something.

Oh, wait! I have one. Not REALLY a regret, but still: The night of my Junior prom was the same night 30 Seconds to Mars was in concert and I didn't go. But still, not really a regret since I was at prom. Teehee.

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 1

2011-04-17T23:17:00.000+02:00

Something I'm looking forward to this year

So many things to look forward to! Graduation, trip to America, starting college...But I guess the most important thing I'm looking forward to is becoming an aunt. Squared. Lucky as I am, both my sister and one of my best friends got pregnant last year, and come May, I'll have a little "niece" named Lilyanna followed by my nephew (biological, this time) Nathan in June.

I've watched my friends and family members delight in being aunts and uncles and for a long time now, I've wished I could join the ranks and be a doting aunt. Finally, my wish has come true and not only will I have a little boy to coddle, but also a little girl to spoil.

Now, to work on the whole long-distance thing...

--Cassy

30 Day Writing Challenge

2011-04-17T23:08:00.002+02:00

Day 01: Something you're looking forward to this year.
Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year.
Day 03: Something with which you struggle.
Day 04: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy.
Day 05: Something in life that gives you balance.
Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy.
Day 07: Vacation Hiatus
Day 08: Vacation Hiatus
Day 09: Vacation Hiatus
Day 10: Something at which you've been a champion or the best.
Day 11: Something about which people seem to compliment you.
Day 12: Something you hope to change about yourself and why.
Day 13: Discuss some of the things on your bucket list.
Day 14: Someone who has made your life worth living.
Day 15: A band/musical artist whose music impacted your life.
Day 16: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 17: Someone with whom you shared a friendship/relationship that simply drifted out of your life.
Day 18: Someone you met randomly that's made an impact on your life.
Day 19: Something that shook your belief system to its core (a big disappointment in your life).
Day 20: Discuss your favorite movie and why it's so special to you.
Day 21: Write about your best friend (not significant other) and what makes them special.
Day 22: Describe a dark/turbulent moment in your life.
Day 23: Describe a truly spiritual moment in your life.
Day 24: Discuss a spontaneous moment in your life that that turned out to be fantastic.
Day 25: Discuss something you planned that ended up not being what you expected.
Day 26: How do you handle/deal with both success and failure?
Day 27: What is your vocation (why are you here on earth)?
Day 28: What is your biggest dream in life (what one great thing do you want to accomplish)?
Day 29: What WAS your biggest dream in life (you wanted to do as a kid but no longer can)?
Day 30: Someone in your family that means so much to you.
Day 31: Epilogue: Write a letter to yourself.

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Fourteen

2011-04-17T05:44:00.000+02:00

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love

day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Thirteen

2011-04-16T15:45:00.000+02:00

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Twelve

2011-04-16T00:34:00.000+02:00

day 12 - a song from a band you hate

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Eleven

2011-04-14T18:30:00.000+02:00

day 11 - a song from your favorite band

day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Ten

2011-04-13T18:05:00.000+02:00

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep

day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Nine

2011-04-12T16:39:00.002+02:00

day 09 - a song that you can dance to

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Eight

2011-04-11T17:57:00.001+02:00

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to

day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Seven

2011-04-10T09:12:00.000+02:00

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Six

2011-04-09T16:42:00.000+02:00

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Five

2011-04-08T11:47:00.002+02:00

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Four

2011-04-07T16:57:00.003+02:00

day 04 - a song that makes you sad

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Three

2011-04-07T16:57:00.000+02:00

A little late, but still here. x)

day 03 - a song that makes you happy

day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Two

2011-04-05T17:44:00.002+02:00

day 02 - your least favorite song

day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

30 Day Song Challenge: Day One

2011-04-04T21:29:00.000+02:00

day 01 - your favorite song

day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

The End of an Era

2011-03-18T21:13:00.000+01:00

So, it's March. That means that I have 2 more months of school. Officially, anyway. I have officially passed my last German test with a C, my last Math test with a D, and I am awaiting the grade to my last French test next week. Also next week is the last Latin test and after that the last English test.

No more high school.

It's surreal. In a matter of months, I will be graduating high school (two years too late, but no matter). I will no longer be in a building filled with 11-18-year-olds every day for 6 hours a day. No longer will I be bumped into by tiny children in the hallways, no longer will I have to listen to said children screaming during breaks, no longer will I check the sub list with a deranged sort of hope that some teacher called in sick.

No more high school.

No more reading classic German literature, no more integers, no more absurd music lessons. No more easy-peasy English classes, no more French class with the crazily lovable teacher, no more Latin. No more watching movies in Biology, no more shouting at the Physics teacher, no more geeky Chem lessons.

No more high school.

There's not much that can explain this feeling: fear, trepidation, exhilaration, pessimism, optimism, realism, nausea, happiness...None of them, not even the combination, can even come close to this feeling. Freedom? Not even close.

No more high school.

Of course, I can say that phrase as much as I want, but it doesn't mean that I am done with school forever. I start college in the Fall. A whole new school, a whole new process, a whole new team of people to work with. New experiences, new friends, new challenges...On the one hand I can't wait, on the other I can.

I have so many doubts about my choice in college, my choice in career! I hope that I made the right choice in tourism and hotel management, because I can see myself as a workerbee in a hotel, but there are other aspects that could mean disaster.

Sometimes I think I was meant to do something else, sing, act, write...Of course, all of those are unrealistic goals (because I am the first to say that while I can sing, I am by no means a great singer). In all actuality, I am more interested in the behind the scenes of the great people entertaining our world.

Whenever I watch the extras on DVDs, there's usually a BTS tour of the movie set, same with TV shows. I love watching them so much because the idea of a family made up of people striving for the same things seems so cool. Whenever I watch movies or shows there is always, always, always a scene where I think, "It must have been so cool/fun to shoot that." Ask my mother, she'll tell you. She's probably so sick of hearing that.

I've never been all too comfortable in the spotlight -- believe me, I've had enough moments in it to last me a lifetime -- so a spot backstage would be ideal. Probably why working in a hotel seems like a good idea. Hotel workers are usually pretty invisible.

So, I'm cutting this short. Live long and prosper!

--Cassy

3...2....1...

2011-01-01T11:21:00.000+01:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

and for that matter, Merry Christmas! ^^

Hope you all have a great 2011, I know I will. <3<3<3

--Cassy <3

:)

2010-12-21T15:52:00.000+01:00

he loves me... <3

only question is... what now?

--Cassy

Graduating Class

2010-09-25T12:22:00.000+02:00

So, I finally made it. Two years after I would've graduated in America, I'm finally in my last year of high school. People keep asking me how I feel: Am I excited? Do I just want it to be over? Am I scared? What am I going to do after school? Honestly, I never really know what to say to people when they ask these kinds of questions.

Yes, I'm anxious to get it over with and finally go to college like I should've done two years ago. Yes, I'm scared of the finals and the work I have to do until then. Yes, I'm excited to finally be graduating. After school I'm going to go to college and study tourism management and after that I hope to move back to America work in a hotel for a few years before I can gather up the money to open one of my own. If anyone who's curious about these questions, just read this blog. I can't answer them personally because it's too hard to think about now.

I don't know what's going to happen in May and June. I don't know if I'll freeze or forget or ace every test. I don't know if I'm going to be cool, calm and collected or if I'm going to run out and barf in the girls' bathrooms the moment I open my mouth. I don't know if the work I'm putting in for this is going to be phenomenal, good or crap. I know I'll do my best to make sure it's at least going to get me a passing grade, because one thing I'm absoultely sure of is that I do not want to repeat this in the fall 2011. I'd like to be done with high school at the end of this year so I'm not yet another 9 months behind everyone else.

I picked writing a thesis because I didn't have much of a choice. I didn't pick any electives that I could go into detail in (art and computer science don't exactly give a lot to do), I did not want to cross two subjects because the ones I would've picked would have been too much for me to handle. So I used the only one left: The thesis. I chose English, which might be a little like cheating, I suppose, but that doesn't mean it's not going to be just as hard as any other subject. I chose urban legends because they were on my mind at the moment and I needed a topic I could research over the summer. So I picked one, I ordered books, I'm reading them, I'm thinking about things I could do for my paper.

While I put a lot of thought into what I'm going to do about my thesis, I haven't picked the other two subjects I have to do orally yet. I don't want to pick German because my German isn't good enough and I'd have to write a paper and speak it, and I already have to write three essays during the mandatory written exam anyway. I don't want to pick French because I'm not good at thinking on my feet in French, plus I can't think of any topic I'd want to write about in French. Math might be an option, but what topic could I pick in Math? I'm barely good enough at written tests in Math. But I'm not excluding that option completely. Geography I might pick because I don't think it would be that hard to read through the topics he chooses for us to learn...Plus I'm thinking about taking part in a mini version of the Model UN program, so I'd have something to talk about during the exam instead of writing a paper and presenting it.

So, Math and Geography. I guess both could help me in the hotel business. Math, obviously, and Geography because it helps to know where your guests come from and you need to know about the economy and the world market and all those things...I'll have to talk to the teachers about it, and I'm scared to do that, because the one teacher I did ask about it (Schlüsselqualifikationen, which also wouldn't be a horrible idea, ultimately, because it teachers communication, conflict management, rhetoric and career building) is now hounding me for an answer about my doing this. I don't know! I think I'm going to do Math and Geography. It could be interesting, after all.

And all this talk about final exams and graduation has got me thinking about my graduation present, (which I paid for, but I don't care) my trip to America. I am going to spend 3 weeks in America, visiting family, friends and having a reunion. 1 week will be spent in New York, staying with my grandparents, probably, if not my Aunt Susan and I'm also going to be meeting my two best online buddies for the first time in person in nearly 7 years. We'll travel around the city, go shopping, see sights, and just hang. It'll be awesome. Of course, there's going to be the odd family party on the weekend, which is only natural. Our family loves a good party. xD

A second week will be spent in Pottstown, PA most likely with my sister and her husband, but if not, then I can always crash at one of my friends' houses (although I think I might prefer Phoebe and Andrew's, since is neutral ground and then Mom could come with and visit with Pheebs too). Anyway, that week will be spent lounging around with my best friends that I could never forget. Some of them I will be seeing for the first time since 2006 (4 years!!!) and other I'll be seeing for the first time in seven years. I am so excited about that week I can't even put it in words.

The final week will be in Delaware, at a big week-long family reunion. Family from Canada, Florida, California, Austria, Delaware, New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania will gather on the beach in Delaware and we'll spend a week just being together. I love my family.

The one hitch in my plan was that I had to book the flight in the summer, a year in advance, which meant that I got to choose the least expensive flight. What I didn't remember, though, was that the graduation ceremony had to take place at some point too. It looks like the officials are haing trouble deciding whether or not the ceremony will be on Monday, the 27th, the day I leave for America at 11:50 am OR it could be on Tuesday, the 21st, which wouldn't make much sense, since the exams are still going on at that time (they end officially on the 25th).

So, unfortunately, I won't be getting a graduation ceremony. I'll have to send someone to fill my place and receive the diploma for me. Oh well.

It's a small price to pay!

--Cassy

Stuck in Place

2010-09-14T20:39:00.000+02:00

...that's how I feel right now. It's like no matter how much I try to grow, how I try to open myself up, I just can't move forward in my life. Love life, social life, academic life, spiritual life, any life. All around me I can see my friends, my family growing, expanding, moving on, living their lives, and I just feel stuck.

I just have to wonder if it's because I'm just beginning my last year of high school, two years later than all of my friends, or if these feelings have been festering in me for a long time. Would things be different if we had stayed in America or was this fate, this feeling inevitable, unstoppable?

Is it something I could've done, was there something I missed or am I doing everything as destiny had planned for me? I'm at the breaking point now, I'm losing my sanity here. I wish it was over. I wish the paper was written, the finals were over, and the next level could begin.

College: It scares me. I'll be on my own for the first time ever. Moving away, no mother, no sister, no family to fall back on. When Phoebe moved back home to America, there was a period where I had to get used to having a room to myself. It was harder than anything I'd done until that point in my life. I had certain luxuries to hide my sadness and uncertainty in, mostly my dog, because he served as a replacement for my sister. But then he was taken away and that still haunts me.

Now I have two cats to fill the void Benji and Phoebe collectively left in me, but slowly but surely that void is getting bigger and bigger and harder to fill. I'm a creature that needs affection, not only by animals, but by humans as well. That'll be hard to come by when I'm not living with anyone I know.

I'm slowly losing faith and hope in myself. But I don't want people to feel bad for me or try and make me feel better, because I won't. I'm set in this and sympathy would only make me feel worse right now, so thanks but no thanks.

--Cassy

Rain

2010-09-03T01:44:00.004+02:00

Well, we did it, Jacob. We finished High School.

As Beth stared at the large brick building that’d been her school for the past four years, her eyes welled up. Not because she was leaving a safe haven of sorts, or because she now had to face college and the real world all by her lonesome, without the comfort of friends and relatives nearby. Not because she was leaving some of the nicest teachers she’d ever known, people who’d taught her important life lessons as well as the basics of society and all that other school stuff they taught.

No, it was the thought of graduating 17^th out of a class of 211, formerly 212. Jacob was her best friend and now he was gone. He didn’t even make it to his own graduation. He never got to see his best friends trip up the stairs to collect their diplomas with big, toothy grins on their faces as they shook the principal’s hand.

The pain in her chest was no longer fresh, but it hurt just the same as the moment she’d heard of his death.

It was a regular May day, the sun was shining, there were children playing Four Square on the street, screaming and laughing and discussing the important rules that applied to the games when her phone rang. It was Jake’s mother. She picked it up with a cheerful “Hello” to her second mother. It wasn’t unusual for Mrs. Aarons to call Beth—on the contrary, it was a regular occurrence. Whether she was calling to ask where Jake was or if Beth was coming for dinner or just to say hi and ask how she was doing, Mrs. Aarons was always greeted with the same “hello”. Today was no different.

The conversation that followed, however, was very different. Jacob had been in an accident, Mrs. Aarons reported, her voice audibly cracking under the strain of tears that were no doubt falling from her eyes like rain from the sky. He was in the intensive care unit at the hospital. He wasn’t going to make it. She should come and say goodbye.

She remembered that moment better than anything in her entire life. Shock – denial – disbelief – anger – unbearable sadness. Sadness so suffocating that she could barely breathe. She couldn’t really remember what happened from after she hung up the phone to when she walked over to his bed, but she imagined she didn’t want to remember. Probably more painful heart-throbbing.

Her last moments with Jacob were far too short for her liking, less than a minute, although it felt like barely a second. She’d said goodbye, told him she loved him, that she would miss him. She’d even begged him to keep fighting and hang on, that there might be something someone could do. But she knew it was in vain. Jake was dead and Beth was alone with his family.

The next few hours were a blur of tears and hugs. His older sister, Jessica, arrived 2 hours after he was pronounced dead and the tears swelled again. His father couldn’t bear to see his wife and daughter so sad and his son lying dead on the hospital bed, so he left to get air. Beth left the Aarons family alone after he left as well; she needed to grieve on her own.

Beth became a ghost of sorts after his death. She took a week off of school because she couldn’t go anywhere without beginning to cry. Her first week back wasn’t all that great, either. She got sent to the guidance counselor far too many times to count by concerned teachers. She barely paid attention in class and her former class participation streak fizzled out in no time. She could make all the mechanical motions, but the laughter, the light, the happiness…it was all gone. She could no longer force a laugh or smile even in the easiest of situations. Smiles were meant for good times, she would tell herself. Not times like these, when your best friend can’t share them.

May passed like this and June was no different. Even her good final scores couldn’t bring a smile or a bit of pride into her. It was like she was a zombie. Her mother was even considering sending her to a therapist so she could deal with her problems before it got worse, but Beth refused to go. What good would a therapist do her? He couldn’t bring Jake back. He couldn’t make her as happy as Jake could.

And then Graduation Day rolled around. While everyone else was busy scurrying around everywhere, saying, “goodbye” and “good luck” and “I’ll miss you”, Beth was leaning up against a wall in her cap and gown, taking deep breaths and willing herself to just get through this. She’d promised herself that once graduation was over, she’d start smiling again. She’d go back to normal, no matter how hard it seemed. She would let go of the past—at least enough to not forget but to not let it take over her.

The ceremony was normal, with the exception of the moment of silence for the lost student. Beth almost started crying then and there, but she pulled herself together and bowed her head. The speeches might’ve been truly amazing, but she wouldn’t have noticed if the sky was pink and pigs were flying with wings made of jello. She just wanted it to be over so she could leave this haunted town and start her new life. Her name was among the first, so she grabbed her diploma, forcing a tight smile—the first in a month—and went back to her seat, shaking various people’s hands as she passed them.

And then it was over. Everyone applauded, the caps were thrown in the air, the no-longer-Seniors left the football stadium to give their caps and gowns back. They were allowed to keep their tassels, and once they’d returned what needed to be returned, picked up what needed to be picked up and left the school building, they were officially no longer high school students. Beth picked up Jacob’s tassel, diploma and other documents for Mrs. Aarons and left the building, not looking at anyone.

His mother thanked her tearfully, gave her a big hug and a “Congratulations, I’m so proud of you,” and left. Not knowing what to do after that, Beth hung around the school until everyone else was gone. She was supposed to come straight home after graduation, she promised her mother she would, but she couldn’t leave. This had been the last place she’d seen him alive.

School was finally out on Friday and Beth and Jake couldn’t wait to get home and relax. Who knew senior projects could be so stressful? As if compiling a bunch of photos for a scrapbook was really all that hard…Turns out, it was.

“We should probably collect some football game ticket stubs and Prom tickets and stuff to glue on the pages to make it look a little prettier than just picture after picture,” she suggested, hoisting her messenger bag over her shoulder as they descended the staircase to the buses. “I think I have some ticket stubs somewhere at home…I’ll look for them,” he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I can get some stickers and stuff at the store today…and I think I have an extra Prom ticket for some reason…I think Adam gave me his or something. We can use that.” “Sounds good. See you Sunday?” “Sure. Bye!” she called, waving to him as she darted to catch her bus, which was about to leave. The thought never even crossed her mind that she might not see him again.

It was hot out. Her black tank top and blue jeans weren’t helping that, either. But she couldn’t get out of the sun just yet. It was warm, and she’d felt cold for so long. If she was going to remember Jake, she wanted to remember his warmth.

Band camp was a waste of time if you weren’t in band. Jacob knew it. Bethany knew it. So why did she come, again? Oh, that’s right. Stupid Jake. At least it was over now…But of course it would start to rain the moment they got outside. And it was a long, long way to his house…and his mom wasn’t home to pick them up…They’d just have to brave it. But boy, by the time they got to his house, they were soaked through and freezing. As soon as they got inside, Jake headed to the bathroom to get two towels, handing one to her and beckoning for her to follow him upstairs. He then proceeded to give her some dry clothes and once they were on and she was still shivering, they got under his covers and watched a movie. By the end, she was sufficiently toasty.

Beth had always liked the rain. Especially summer rain, when it was balmy and warm. That rain had been cold, which she only liked when she was inside and dry. Warm summer rain was best experienced outside. Sticky T-shirts, hot legs and feet in sandals were washed down with a fresh splash of rain and you felt good as new. She’d told him that a lot. “Summer rain is my happy rain. No matter what’s going on, it makes me feel better.” Unfortunately for her, they were in the middle of a drought. No happy rain for her.

There went her phone. Probably her mother asking where she was. Yep. Predictable. Normally she wouldn’t bother to write back, but since she was trying to change and not be so down, she wrote back and told her mother where she was. “Still @ school.” It took a while for her mother to get back to her, even though the message was short. Her mother was a little technologically challenged. “Stay there. Ellen’s picking you up.” So the family was here. And her Aunt Ellen would be picking her up. Great. That meant that a bunch of other people would be with her. Sam, Bianca, Penny, James… to name a few.

They’d probably end up taking her grocery shopping, too. As if that was what she wanted to do right now: Have a barbeque thrown in her honor. But she’d put the smile on her face and act like she was happy they were there. She was, in a way. If she had to be around people, why not the only people in the world she loved more than her late best friend?

When she felt her pocket vibrate once more, she knew they were almost there. Turning to face the school, all she could think was, “Well, we did it Jake. We finished High School. I wish you were here for the last of it. Everything we heard was true. It was gratifying and hard and fun all at the same time. So worth it.” Beep! Beep! There they were. Glancing over her shoulder at the gray minivan, she saw more people than she’d expected, and only one of them was a familiar face, her Aunt Ellen. She couldn’t make out the others, other than that they were male and vaguely familiar. Beeeeep! She was waving now.

Turning away from the school, she said, “Goodbye.” When the car door was open, she hesitated, looking at the ground. Not long enough for her aunt to get even more aggravated, but just long enough for a tiny drop of rain to fall directly onto her cheek. She looked up, frowning, just as it started pouring rain. Not just any rain, though. Warm, summer rain. Happy rain.

And she smiled. And she laughed. She stood there, half in the car, half out, the rain pouring down on her as hard as it could, and she was laughing. Putting her hands up and tilting her head back, she said, “Thank you!”

Her aunt, of course, was worried, but that was ok. Beth finally felt like everything would be ok. The rain on graduation day as she was turning her back to her best friend was no coincidence in her mind. It was Jacob, telling her to be happy and not sad.

And it's best not to anger a spirit, don’t you think?

Chloe...

2010-08-10T14:16:00.004+02:00

misses the times when she would play outside all day with random kids she didn't know. When your best friend was someone you'd known for five minutes. When the best thing that happened was the ice cream truck drove by on a hot day and you had juuuust enough money to buy that one popsicle that looked like Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse. When things were simpler and more fun. When you didn't have to worry about death, destruction and the leaders of the free world. Sneaking into forbidden places and making a magical world out of random things. Using anything and everything you found in a game. Spending hours upon hours exploring your street, backyard, house, etc. When it was hard to stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve. When Christmas morning was the one day of the year you could jump on your parents' bed to wake them up. When you would dress up on Halloween and actually go trick-or-treating, and when you sported a bag for candy and a collection box for Unicef. When there was recess and tiny milk cartons and art class was spent gluing macaroni on paper, and drawing complex pictures meant putting clothes on stick figures. When gold stars and scratch'n'sniff stickers were put on aced tests. When you got up on Saturday mornings just to watch cartoons and eat cereal in your pajamas.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I miss the smell of the woods in my backyard and the sound of the brooke babbling into the Schuylkill. I miss the wind blowing the leaves across the black asphalt driveway as I head to the bus stop in November, I miss sliding down the icy sidewalk with my friends on the hill. I miss climbing on rocks and getting my pants and shoes covered in mud and exploring the woods around the apartment. I miss it all.

I miss sitting on the balcony, and feeling the hot sun on my skin. I miss going to my friends' houses and hanging out in their livingrooms and backyards. I miss dancing around to music and singing along. I miss talking on the phone with my best friend about absolutely nothing for hours on end. I miss going to the mall and goofing around in Spencer's. I miss going to the school dances on Friday nights and doing the electric slide.

I miss driving up to New York every other weekend to spend time with my family and celebrate a birthday or a holiday or just being a family. I miss going to the store and buying the 100 pack of popsicles and the mineral water with the strawberry flavor. I miss bringing those bottles into the top bunk and sticking them between the matress and the bedframe. I miss my half circle alarm clock.

Midsummer Night's Post

2010-07-22T06:20:00.000+02:00

Ok, so it's not really a midsummer NIGHT so much as a midsummer I-should've-gone-to-bed-hours-ago-but-it's-6am-now-so-I'm-bored-and-going-to-post-something post. I was just sitting here, checking Blogger and Facebook and thinking about how I should be doing something worthwhile with my time. I mean, this is my last summer of complete freedom, really.

I just think that I could be spending my time doing more meaningful things than posting on a role playing website (not that it's not fun and totally relaxing, but what'll it get me later on in life?). I'm waiting for some books to arrive from Amazon for my graduation project. I'm kind of excited and kind of scared about it. I have to write 20-30 pages on urban legends and I have to read 5-8 books about the subject and I have to hand a chapter outline in to the board of education for the seal of approval and then I have to present it to a panel of teachers and I'm really scared.

I'm scared of the whole final exam thing, really. Not only do I have to write this thesis about urban legends, but I have to pick two other subjects to present in orally, both of which require 15-20 on a specific topic and I have no earthly idea which subjects to take and what topics to pick. I need to know by September because I need to notify the teachers and get to work because it has to be done by December.

I'm still just wishing that I could either die or move out of Austria because I honestly don't think I can take the pressure. I mean, I've only been here for, what, 7 years? That is not enough time to prepare for these exams! Everyone else has had 12 years. Plus they've all been speaking German their entire lives! I have nowhere near the amount of perfection they have at this language. And I have to write an entire 15-20 pages EACH on a topic of my choice? And I have to be able to talk about it for 15 minutes?

I can barely talk in front of people for five minutes, let alone 15. I stutter and stammer and have to think of things to say for a really long time...I'm not good at it at all! I don't have the right phrases or special words, so I have to make due with what I can and that's not all that much when you put it all together.

I really, truly wish that I could just get in a life-threatening accident and not have to do this. Or maybe I could just skip this year and go straight to trade school. What do I need to take a test for, anyway? Proving that I can do the math and speak English and French and work on computers? Why can't they just look at the final report card of the 12th grade and be done with it? We have to take tests too! So maybe they aren't oral tests, but what does that matter? No one cares about verbal agreements. It's all about the documents nowadays.

--Cassy

Review of 11th Grade

2010-06-26T16:23:00.000+02:00

Well, people, it's that time of year again. The school year is almost over and it's time to review the school year.

Grades are as follows:

Math - B
German - D
English - A
French - C
Latin - D
Geography - C
History - C
Computer Science - C
Music - A
Psychology - B
Chemistry - C
Physics - A
Schlüsselqualifikationen (no way to directly translate that...) - A
(List may be edited at a later date because I'm not sure they're all right.)

Not my best year, as you can see, but I'm not sweating it. Next year, however, will be tough. Finals, theses and various other small projects await me. But then my high school career is over and I become a college student. Studying for free (!!!) in Semmering college of tourism management.

Let's see if I can make it.

Anyway, yesterday was the first and last showing of The Sound of Music, played by my mixed music class. I played Maria (the lead...ugh) and I've heard I was pretty good. My opinion? I was red in the face because the lights were so freaking hot, I spoke too fast and not clearly enough, my singing was wobbly and I rushed through the scenes. Everyone else was wonderful, though, and the audience (which was rather huge) went wild, which I guess is a good sign.

We (that is, the cast and members who worked on the play with us) will be getting a DVD of the show. I'm dreading it, but I guess I'll need it. I know that if our teacher tries to pull the same thing next year (she pretty much forced this play on us), I will not volunteer to be the lead.

--Cassy

Twisted Girl

2010-06-12T19:31:00.005+02:00

As I was playing Rummy with my mother, we were talking about swimming and taking $150 out of my American bank account (child support money) next month to pay for a year-round pass to a pool. I asked her what about college? Because the funds in the account were all going towards my higher education. What she told me: "Live a little. After all, come next year, we might not even be in Austria anymore." I looked at her incredulously and asked her what she meant. She said that if things went wrong, we might be moving. Wonderful.

After that, I got to thinking about the past times we'd moved and somehow I mixed in a comment an Austrian friend had left on my Facebook account yesterday, about how she was so glad that I was going to stay in Austria to study so we could keep getting together as friends. It was just now, not 5 minutes ago, that I realized that I'm kind of a bitch.

Every time I've moved before, I've promised countless people to stay in touch. I told them I'd write, I'd call, I'd come visit. Only once did I tell the truth. The last big move (America --> Austria) was the only time I actually kept my promise and stayed in touch with the friends I'd left behind. Or at least, the first time I'd tried.

But I know in my bones that when I go off to college, I'll forget all about the people in this school and I probably won't keep in touch all that much either. Sure, the occasional comment on Facebook, a birthday greeting, maybe. But actually drive out to Vienna and spend a weekend with them? Not probable.

I realized that I don't like making bonds with people because I know, eventually, inevitably, I will leave them. I guess it's just easier to sever ties with people quickly so it's less painful than the year-long runaround would be. I know that if I attempted to stay in touch with people, it would last the infamous year. It would start out well, sending letters back and forth. But once other friends and school got in the way, the letters would come less and less until they would eventually stop altogether. It seems less painful that way, but believe me, thinking back, it hurts all the more.

After all, the phrase is "high school friendships never last", is it not? I guess it's true in most cases. Small town best friends grow apart when they go off to separate colleges in different cities. They make new friends, they see the old ones when they come home, but they're never as close as they used to be. The few lucky people who can keep a bond like that will have my admiration and envy forever.

--Cassy

Movie Reviews!

2010-04-02T01:06:00.000+02:00

To begin with, a movie that I couldn't be disappointed with, because I had no high expectations for it to begin with: Twilight (and, subsequently, New Moon).

I must confess, I read the books eagerly. I just had to know what the fuss was all about! Unfortunately (or perhaps less so, because I was happy my assumptions about them were right), the books were less than great, in both writing style and plot. Thus said, I was expecting a cookie cutter movie. Once again, my assumptions were right.

This has to be said, though, Twilight was never a big budget movie to begin with! The movie producers clearly told the public that Twilight was low budget, which, in movie-speak, generally means that the screenplay is less than superb and the acting is sub par.

Twilight was no exception.

Now, I know there are a lot of Kristen Stewart (affectionately called KStew by some) and Robert Pattinson (RPattz) fans out there, most even since BEFORE the Twilight series hit the big screen, by I honestly, honestly do not see the appeal. Even in Harry Potter, when Robert played Cedric Diggory, he did nothing for me. This being said, I don't think he did a horrible job playing the role of Edward. He did admirably badly. It was not an easy roll to take on, what with all the screaming Team Edward girls (don't even get me started on that subject!) on the sidelines. Kristen Stewart, I've seen, has done much better in acting out other roles than the so-called lovable Bella Swan. Even in Jumper, where she only appeared for less than 30 seconds, she acted better than in the entire Twilight movie.

While the role called for a clumsy, shy girl, it did not call for her to look constipated throughout almost the entire movie, or for her lines to come out choppy and forced as opposed to passionate and fierce. And while we're on the subject of forced lines and shoddy acting, Robert didn't leave much room for praise, either. His American accent was, admittedly, very good, but the way he spoke said "I don't really want to be doing this but I'm getting paid pretty well so I'll give it half a shot". I do know he can do better than this. I've seen it done.

As for the secondary characters, I only had a problem with Jessica. She, too, gave off the air of not wanting to be there, shooting those scenes, and it showed. A lot.

As for the overall movie, well...The screenplay is basically just the book read aloud. I know, sometimes this can be a good thing, but more often than not...it's not. The only excusable lines would be the lion-lamb quotes and possibly a few other, more quirky ones, but if you're going to just rewrite the book in screenplay-speak, then it's like reading the book with your ears instead of your mind.

Overall rating: **/*****

Since that review is more than long enough, I'll leave this post as is. Hopefully next time I'll pick a movie where I can better contain myself. x)

--Cassy <3

The time has come

2010-03-03T20:27:00.004+01:00

for another lovely update with yours truly!

Ok, so this post has no real thought behind it or anything, I was just reading other blogs and got the urge (you know, the URGE, baby...-rawr-).

So, the epic hair saga continues this Friday at 5pm when I go to a friend's house who'll cut it. I really wanna let my hair grow out (like, all the way), but it just looks like crap right now, so I need a cut that'll grow out nicely, you know? I'm thinking of going back to the concave look (for those of you who are confused: Short in the back, gradually growing longer toward the face) because it worked out pretty nicely last time I had it done.

Of course, the last time I went to a professional and this time I'll be in someone's kitchen, but the kitchen-lady has done good work in the past as well. x)

In other news, I might not have told you about the whole teachers-going-into-retirement-scheme that happened back in December 09. Well, to put it lightly: The summer before the 2009/10 school year my class's History teacher went into forced retirement. He was followed by our Chemistry teacher and our homeroom teacher in December. Now, our English teacher has gone on maternity leave (yay for her! <3), which left us with four, yes FOUR, open positions to fill.

Now, our homeroom teacher taught Math and Religion, so that was two subjects gone, History makes three, Chemisty and English give us five. Math was taken over by a really great teacher [I say this because I actually feel like I can DO things in her class!], Chemistry was taken by fresh-out-of-college teacher, History has gotten better, especially since we're actually forced to learn something in our new teacher's class, as opposed to our dear old Pelican who pretty much just talked all period.

This brings us to English. And in order to fully comprehend the severity of this situation, you'll have to know the whole story. It begins as thus:

In the 9th grade, we had a teacher who could not speak English. She constantly asked me for explanations and pronunciations, and while I can fully understand the concept of having a native speaker as an asset in a classroom, using said student as a dummy-teacher is unacceptable. If that weren't enough, she couldn't take control of the class, which, as anyone could've predicted, led to catastrophic events. These events and our horrendous behavior led to her early retirement.

Because we'd had such a bad deal, we got a brand new, competent English teacher in 10th grade. We learned, we laughed, we liked. Then she got married shortly before summer. We were happy, we congratulated...no one foresaw what followed. In 11th grade, this school year, she told us she was pregnant and would be leaving us mid-March. We'd resigned ourselves to our fate and hoped and dreamed that Lady Luck would be kind to us and give us a teacher that wouldn't wreck our brilliant streak of learning and loving.

Then the announcement came for our beloved English teacher's replacement. The next horror story in the making. Final exams are in almost exactly one year and we're left with a teacher who might actually be reduced to tears if subjected to the torture that is our scorned class. We desperately hope all goes well for our teacher during and after childbirth, not only so that she can return to us in the Fall for the promised three periods per week to whip us back into shape, but also because we truly hope she has a wonderful life because she's such a good person.

Now, enough about school.

The big news (for me, anyway) is this: In April, not three days after Easter break ends, the 11th grade will be taking two parallel trips. One group of students will be going to Chester, England, and the other shall be going to Nice, France. And nine students - me among them - will be staying home. "Ah, longer break!" you might say. Oh no, my dear readers. No, no, you are mistaken. We will go to school. We will stay until 12 o'clock. We will run around the school idly doing various odd jobs such as announcing what teachers will not be able to appear the next day due to different circumstances. We will be prisoners.

BUT. It'll be totally fun because I like being in school without having to actually do the school part.

I have saved the best news for last, it appears. On May 27th, 2010, the music class 7AB shall be performing scenes from "The Sound of Music" in form of a Sing-Along. I would say you're invited, readers, but...I don't want you there. I have to sing in front of a large audience and it won't be pretty. I don't know who I'm playing, or if I'm even playing a big part in anything, but I can tell you now: It will not be pretty. At. All. So be thankful you won't be there.

--Cassy <3

I realize it's been a while...

2010-01-06T15:53:00.004+01:00

...but I'm back, baby!

Ok, so I never actually left...I was just too lazy to write (which makes me SAD, because I like it. ^^). So, I'm beginning to think this might be a longer post. Fasten your seatbelts, and away....we......GOOOOOOO!

Ok, so, the last time I updated you was...oh, I dunno...2 weeks ago (it really seemed a lot longer in my head)? So, you're thinking, not much has happened since then. BUT you're wrong. Ha! I have beat the system. Because my last blog (Ode to a Dick.) was pretty much just an AIM conversation I had with a really idiotic guy, I'll update you on everything that's happened since the post BEFORE that one, which waaaaaas...(disregarding the 'Hi MiniMunch' post...) in October.

OCTOBER!

Let's review, shall we?

October was ok. I threw a Halloween party at my apartment, and some people came which is always nice.

November, not much happened, to be honest. The Christmas markets opened the weekend of my birthday, (I'M 18!!!!!) and I went shopping for X-mas presents a couple of times, but November was really a blow-off month this year, because the real update is for December.

You see, I don't know if I mentioned it in any posts, but my sister and her husband visited us from the 5th to the 15th of December. It was really nice, having other Americans to talk to...Of course, I had school while they were here, but that's to be expected so early in December. It was a good time to come, though, because they got here right before (and I mean like, a DAY before) the big snows got here (which then evaporated two days before Christmas...>.<) and because in the Christmas season, airline tickets rocket up with everyone flying all over the place. So they got a good deal. Of course, they brought a whole bunch of American goodies for us, like Starbursts, Cookies'n'Cream bars, Orville low-fat popcorn, chocolate chips, Poptarts, size 11 women's shoes, etc. And we gave them some Austrian specialities, such as Mozartkugeln (chocolate balls filled with mazipan and almond paste...DELICIOUS), Haribo Spaghetti (that's pretty much just strips of gummy with sour sugar on top in three different flavors...my sister likes it) and real Austrian cuisine (Semmel-, Kartoffelknödel, Wienerschnitzel, Zwiebelrostbraten, etc.).

Since my sister came so close to Thanksgiving and Christmas, we decided to skip Thanksgiving Day and have a party on the 12th of December with our family. It was fun, not many people came (for some reason), but we had a lot of great food and some good times. Christmas was the next day, and originally it was supposed to be traditional: Everyone gets up in the morning, Mom puts the homemade cinnamon buns in the oven, we open our stockings, eat the buns, open presents, basta. Unfortunately, it was postponed until almost 3 o'clock because Roger worked the night before and that was when he got up. But it was a good Christmas, nonetheless.

Of course, the whole time they were here we watched Christmas movie after Christmas movie after Christmas movie until 3 out of the 5 people in the house couldn't stand them anymore. So then we watched the TV show they brought with them for us. 3 seasons of How I Met Your Mother.

Of course, the Christmas presents did not disappoint:
I got the first three books in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series (total of 5 books, plus some extras), 3 pairs of shoes (2 extra pairs that Phoebe didn't want anymore as well, but those weren't part of the presents), and a silver necklace with a black onyx stone hanging in a silver frame. The family got season 1 of Lost and Nip/Tuck. Lost is a big hit with Mom and Roger, but I think it's the stupidest show that's ever been aired on primetime TV. Nip/Tuck, on the other hand, I simply do not watch because the details they show are far too gruesome for me to comprehend. Especially since we usually watch shows while we eat.

How I Met Your Mother is a great show, though, and we all enjoy it very much.

Unfortunately, I had been sick for nearly two weeks before they got here, so it was inevitable that the short break I had while they were here would come to an end. Fortunately, it came in the last two days and I got to stay home from school and spend it with them. December was an ultimately frustrating month health-wise, but January and the new year look promising enough. For example, I have felt quite good since January first.

On the real Christmas Day (or the 24th if you want to get technical) our small family opened our internal presents. I got seasons 5 and 9 of Friends (leaving me with only 2 seasons left to buy: 4 and 6.), a black sweatervest that I love, the books My Sister's Keeper and P.S. I love you, perfume (Clea to compliment Chloé), a new charm for my bracelet, my computer, aaaaaaaaaaand some stuff for the bathroom. All in all a pretty good Christmas.

New Years wasn't all that fantastic. Mom and I stayed home and watched shows and movies and when 12 rolled around, we stood on the porch and watching people shooting fireworks. It was ok, but nothing spectacular. I still maintain that the best New Years I ever had was in Pottstown when we had Grandma and Poppy, Brianna, Meghan, Liberté, Rachel, Eve and Kathy, Andrew, Matt and Dana over. We partied hard, we had fun, we did embarrassing things and we just had a great time.

So, today is January 6th, I am 18 years old and my outlook on 2010 is good (despite the fact that the Year of Death is looking to become the Decade of Death...not a good sign). I look forward to the new year, I look forward to turning 19, I look forward to actually changing my life for the better.

At first I didn't have a resolution for the new year. I thought it was pointless and I never stuck to it so I wasn't going to make one. Now, 6 days later, I'm making it: I'm going to live my life. I'm going to change what I want changed. I'm going to do it because I want to and not because anyone's pressuring me.

My goals are to lose some weight and get in shape for the summer, get a job so I can save some money to travel to the US in 2011 and pay for my college myself, and work harder at getting better grades in various classes.

My wish for this year is to meet a guy, whether in America over the internet or Austria in person, and hopefully get a boyfriend. It's been long overdue.

Next year I'll look at this post and tell you what all changed, alright? Hopefully everything I wanted to.

-- Chloe

P.S. Just so you know, the hair saga continues: Blonde with pink highlights, and I cut it again right before Phoebe and Andrew got here! I'm also thinking of going back to blonde completely again and I'm seriously considering getting a weave until my hair grows out to an acceptable length!

Ode to a Dick.

2009-12-14T14:49:00.003+01:00

Before you read this blog post, read the story I'm talking about:
Just Another Day in the Ghetto - Michael Crook

stabmysanity15 (14:17:23): did you even know the two girls from your story just another day in the ghetto?

mikecrookaim (14:17:42): of course not, but it was a funny story.

stabmysanity15 (14:17:52): for you, maybe.

mikecrookaim (14:18:01): no maybe about it.

stabmysanity15 (14:18:09): probably not for the hundreds of people who knew and loved them.

mikecrookaim (14:18:12): People need to get a grip and stop taking it so personally

stabmysanity15 (14:18:30): i'm sorry if people actually have souls and care. obviously you know nothing about that.

mikecrookaim (14:18:44): Nope. I don't, just like you know nothing about not hiding behind proxy servers.

stabmysanity15 (14:19:12): i'm sorry. i just get upset when i see things like this.

mikecrookaim (14:19:29): I don't care. Peoples' emotions are their own problems.

mikecrookaim (14:19:51): Besides, I find it funny that a satanist would hangout with a nigger.

stabmysanity15 (14:20:06): then why do you provoke them? you make it your problem. especially when you post your ridiculously arrogant and racist story on a public facebook page.

mikecrookaim (14:20:24): I can't help it if people can't handle adversity.

stabmysanity15 (14:20:56): adversity is not what they have a problem with. it's your ignorance and simple mindedness that riles them up.

mikecrookaim (14:21:16): Not my problem.

stabmysanity15 (14:22:22): i'd like to see how you'd feel if someone close to you died like that and then you saw some idiot posting stories like yours on the internet.

mikecrookaim (14:22:47): Actually, that did happen, and I posted the story myself. No one's safe.

stabmysanity15 (14:23:55): then either you're a liar to make a point or you are the worst possible example of a wannabe journalist i've ever seen and you should be ashamed of yourself for having no self respect and no morals at all.

mikecrookaim (14:24:28): morals are for losers....plain and simple. I see funny stories, and I write about them, no matter who they're about.

stabmysanity15 (14:25:13): and what, pray tell, is funny about a car crash? the morbid way the corpses are lying on the road or the devastating phone calls the doctors have to make?

mikecrookaim (14:25:35): the thought of two teenagers flying through the air and splattering all over the pavement is a good start.

stabmysanity15 (14:26:08): i bet you'd say that even if it was YOU flying through the air.

stabmysanity15 (14:26:36): too bad you can't write about yourself if you're dead.

mikecrookaim (14:26:42): Absolutely. If I could, in that situation, I'd at least try to tweet before I clocked out.

stabmysanity15 (14:27:38): you're so full of shit.

mikecrookaim (14:28:17): Well, think whatever you want, but fair's fair. When I die, someone's gonna blog about it, and if I have a chance before I die, I just whip out my BlackBerry and tweet it. No biggie.

stabmysanity15 (14:28:41): that's assuming someone cares enough about you dying to even write the story.

stabmysanity15 (14:28:59): but wait, they do. they'll all write about how happy they are the piece of shit writer died

mikecrookaim (14:29:09): oh, believe me, everytime I write one of these stories, I get several idiots who claim they're hurt, and promise to blog about me when I die.

stabmysanity15 (14:29:35): you're a sad excuse for a human.

mikecrookaim (14:29:50): No, I'm just not brainwashed into social mores like you seem to be.

stabmysanity15 (14:32:00): so caring for other people, depending on them, that's me being brainwashed, is it? well, tell me, do you buy food at a grocery store? do you have electricity in your house? i assume so, since you're not dead from malnutrition and you're talking to me on a computer that generally needs electricity. so you're just as dependant on our social system as i - and everyone else on this earth - am. and you, you poor little i-don't-care-about-anyone-but-myself sack of shit would drop dead if people stopped helping you out.

stabmysanity15 (14:32:25): and let's face it, you don't post stories for yourself. you post them for other people.

mikecrookaim (14:32:32): ahh, but you're talking about things for which you pay. You pay, I assume, for food, and power...

mikecrookaim (14:32:38): so your logic fails.

stabmysanity15 (14:32:41): why, oh ignorant one, would you do that if you don't care about anyone else?

mikecrookaim (14:33:11): I don't care. If I did care about people, I'd write sappy, happy, caring stories.

stabmysanity15 (14:33:22): no, my logic does not fail. yes, you have to pay, but if people just stop providing things for money, you'd still be shit out of luck.

mikecrookaim (14:33:48): and if consumers stopped buying, they'd be shit out of luck. Works both ways.

stabmysanity15 (14:34:07): and you just proved my point!

stabmysanity15 (14:34:14): we're all codependant on each other.

mikecrookaim (14:34:31): but there's a difference between business and caring about people.

stabmysanity15 (14:35:56): sure there is. business is money and caring is unconditional. but there are thousands and millions of people out there who are just sick of their jobs but they don't stop working because they know people depend on them and they CARE.

mikecrookaim (14:36:53): that sounds rather stupid on their part.

mikecrookaim (14:37:02): It's all business for me.

mikecrookaim (14:37:26): that's why I had so much fun managing a drug store, towing peoples' cars, closing five minutes early so they couldn't get their scripts...good times.

stabmysanity15 (14:38:12): you belong in a mental institution. you really do.

mikecrookaim (14:38:26): ahhh, because according to you, everyone should care about everyone.

mikecrookaim (14:38:36): And you, arrogant one, expect everyone to feel exactly as you do.

stabmysanity15 (14:38:40): the people there would be trying to help you.

mikecrookaim (14:38:50): because they get paid to do so. Business.

stabmysanity15 (14:39:11): they got into that profession to help people. caring.

mikecrookaim (14:39:20): For money. Business.

stabmysanity15 (14:39:42): to provide for themselves and their families. caring.

stabmysanity15 (14:41:23): and really. if you didn't care about anything that happened, if you really are as indifferent to everyone as you'd like to think you are, you would've blocked me a long time ago and been done with it.

mikecrookaim (14:41:59): To the contrary, you amuse me.

mikecrookaim (14:42:06): You seem to be very worked up over this.

mikecrookaim (14:42:12): else you would have walked away long ago.

mikecrookaim (14:42:16): Again, works both ways.

stabmysanity15 (14:42:29): i never denied that i'm not worked up about it. quite the opposite, actually.

mikecrookaim (14:42:39): and that's sad.

mikecrookaim (14:42:46): it shows you're brainwashed.

stabmysanity15 (14:43:16): it shows your a dick who doesn't have anything to live for but himself. now who's sad?

stabmysanity15 (14:43:54): so screw you, asshole. go on posting your stories, keep being amused at the enraged comments. but next time, get your fucking facts straight.

To my latest follower...

2009-12-11T20:00:00.001+01:00

Hi Mini Munch!

-- Cassy

Dieting and Everyone's a Critic

2009-10-18T19:55:00.005+02:00

So, I was checking my e-mail just now and I usually skim the headlines on Yahoo! Mail for the Entertainment section. It's fun and I get bored so if people I like are in the news I'll read it. Anyway, today there was the headline "Butler's Detoxing".

Since I've been in a Gerard Butler mood lately ("The Ugly Truth", "P.S. I love you", etc.), I checked it out. I mean, it's like 8 and I'm bored cause we're not watching a movie and I'm not interested in whatever he's watching on the TV...And naturally, "detoxing" + celebrities = drugs, so I was getting prepared to be disappointed in Butler because I got the impression he was one of the good guys without the twisted private life.

To get to the point of my post...

Butler was detoxing his body to lose weight and get into shape. He was talking about this lemon water and cayenne pepper diet which seemed kinda weird. But apparently it works for him, so I checked it out online.

And yes, I'm aware that these diets that you find online are the Devil in person, but hey, a girl's a little desperate.

Basically, it's just fresh squeezed lemon, water, some maple syrup and cayenne pepper to taste. Seems harmless enough. I mean, this thing lasts around 10 days and you're only allowed to have the lemon water. No food. Just water and lemon and pepper. Not even veggies and whatever.

It seems extreme and I don't know why anyone would do it to themselves...or I didn't until I looked down at my protruding gut and decided I needed to do something about it.

I figure that instead of only drinking this weird mixture, I could eat only the dinner Mom makes at night (you know, so she doesn't get suspicious) and then drink the water the rest of the day. It's not like I do much else anyway. Actually, I skip breakfast, go to school, starve until I get home and then stuff my face with whatever I can find that looks good. Usually it's soup, cause we rarely have anything good at home.

Maybe if I had this weird water stuff I could lose some weight and not be hungry at all. Cause I think we all know that if we drink too much water at some point we're not gonna wanna eat anything anymore. Plus if you drink enough water, your body doesn't need to store it and the stored water that provides you with that bit of weight you just can't seem to lose will be flushed right out.

I think it's a good idea...you?

In other news, I saw Julie & Julia today. It was a really good movie and I recommend it to anyone who needs a good success story. It's based on true events, so you know that it's not just Hollywood bull shit, which makes it all the better. Plus the fact that Julia Child is just the funniest woman alive helps, too. And it's a real movie, not one of those polished, primmed and proper Hollywood lies you see all day every day in the theaters (i.e. Twilight, Harry Potter, spoof movies, remakes, etc.).

It's not like I have anything against those movies...I like them, I really do. But they're just so FAKE. The acting is substandard and I KNOW the actors and actresses can do better than what the give you on screen, because, well, they made it into the film, didn't they?

Example:

Harry Potter 1-3: Absolutely amazing movies. Acting was great, the characters were completely believable, the dialogue was superb and real (as real as a movie about wizards can get, at least).

Harry Potter 4-6: Annoying. It's almost like the actors got a little famous and decided they'd get paid big bucks anyway and they can't do whatever they want and can just stop trying. Emma and Dan, above all, fit that description. Dan's speech was shifty and suspicious and Emma was just totally off balance. I was a little happier with the 6th film than I was with the 4th and 5th films, because the acting seemed to be a little more like the first three, but it was still a sub par performance and not up to my expectations.

Don't even get me started on sticking the book and authenticity...

Anyway, to make a long post shorter: Movies back in the old days were way better and I miss them.

--Cassy

Nomen est omen

2009-10-01T13:49:00.004+02:00

Don't ask why I named this blog that...I couldn't come up with a catchy word for "update".

Anyway, since this IS an update, I guess I should get to it.

Biggest news: Birthday is coming up. I'm turning 18 and I already know what I'm getting for a present. I've been hinting at it for a few months with my mom, and we finally agreed to it yesterday night. I'm getting a tatoo. I'm not sure where yet, but I know what I'm getting. If anyone reading this actually knows my, you probably have me on Facebook and you'd know that my profile picture was a picture of the tatoo I designed for a pretty long time.

If you do not know and I really hope you won't stalk me on Facebook now (I don't know if I put my real name on my profile or whatever or not), it's a spade. Hollowed out and kinda funky looking. Originally there was going to be a D in the middle, but I think the unpersonified version is much better for me.

Anywhoooooo...

Other news is that Kaytee might be joining me in Austria for a week or two sometime. Yay! ^^

--Cassy

[Live long and prosper]

Closing in on me

2009-09-11T16:57:00.003+02:00

You know, I try to suppress my feelings. I see people expressing them every day and all I can see is how they just make trouble. I don't like trouble. So I keep my feelings to myself. It's sort of my defense mechanism. If I tell myself I don't care enough, I start to really not care.

But lately things have been piling up. I'll be watching a show and see something like poptarts and realize that I miss them, because there's no such thing as poptarts in Austria. Or Oreos. They do have Oreos in Austria, but not how I remember them. They have the snack packs, but I want the big boxes with the rolls of Oreos in them, just because that's how I used to eat them.

I miss milk. It seems weird. There's milk everywhere, right? But it doesn't taste the same. I just like it more in America. In America, I could drink glass after glass of milk, but here, I can't even take one sip without cringing. They have light and they have normal milk, and there are no gallons, just boxes.

I miss the way everything looked back home. The trees were different, it smelled different, the streets, the houses, the people...it was all different. All normal, and this, here...it's alien and I don't like it.

Sure, Austria is beautiful. Anyone who visits will tell you that. But they don't have to live here every day. They're just on vacation. They only see the beautiful parts because it's all they want to see. They tell me I'm so lucky to live in this country, that I take it for granted. But don't they realize that while they're here for a week, they start to want to go home? Don't they connect the dots when I tell them I miss living in America? Don't they think about it at all? Maybe I miss America. Maybe I want to go home. Do they think about it?

Do they even consider that maybe I don't want to be bilingual. Maybe I don't want to be ahead of all the others. Maybe I don't want to learn French and Italian and Spanish and German and Latin and all these languages. Maybe I just want to stay ignorant and speak English and live in America and have a life just like everyone else.

Maybe I don't want to be different. Maybe I don't want to stand out. Maybe I want to have a boring life in a boring town with boring people.

But no one asks me what I want. My wants and needs are unimportant.

True. I can live without material things like poptarts, oreos and milk. But to separate me from my family is cruel. To cut off my ability to see the people I love regularly is abuse. To know that when they get together, I can't go is murder. I want to see my family.

I want them. I need them. I can't live without them. It's hard. And I try not to show it. I try not to get in trouble.

But it doesn't work. It just doesn't. You can't just tell me to stop missing them, because I won't. You can't flip a switch and turn the hurt off, because it won't stop. You can't think I'm going to be ok if you take away the one thing worth living for, because I'm not.

I want to go home. I want to see my family. I want to be close to them. I want to stop hurting. I want to see my family grow bigger. I want to be there for them. I want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with them. I want to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries. I want to be a part of their lives and I want to do it in person and not just over the computer or phone.

I want to be there, not here.

I don't want pity comments. I don't want advice. I don't want to heard a goddamn thing about how I shouldn't dwell on this. Because you just don't know how it feels. You can try, but you still won't know. You can think you do, but you don't. I don't want anyone to tell me to calm down. I don't want to hear that I'm exaggerating. I don't want to hear that you miss me. You don't know the meaning of it. You're not cut off from everyone single person you love and forced to start anew. You just don't know.

Today's Topic...

2009-08-06T10:09:00.007+02:00

Misguided Perverts.

We all know them, we all pretty much find them annoying. Why do they do what they do and WHY, oh dear God, do they do things the wrong way?

Today's topic was inspired by my good friend, Kaytee (Kaytee In Her Own Mind). She got a message today saying, "you're xD bangable". Now, can anyone tell what is WRONG with this message?

No one? Ok, I'll tell you.

Aside from the obvious (perverted pickup line, dur), this person put the "xD" in FRONT of bangable. W...T....F...?! Who does that? That's like looking a person up and down in front of their parents. WRONG. Just WRONG. I mean, EVERYONE knows it's either "you're bangable xD", which means it's probably a joke, or "xD you're bangable", which means they actually think so. What the hell does "you're xD bangable" mean?! Is it like a cross between a joke and actually meaning it? Is there such a thing? Is it kinda like "I think you're bangable, but I'm just joking about doing it with you"? Isn't that morally inappropriate?

I mean, if you look at the translation of xD, you get a lot out of it. For example, putting x) after something means it makes you smile. If you put xD after something, it means it makes you laugh. If you put xD BEFORE something, it means whatever you're gonna say makes you happy. If you put x) before something, it probably means the person isn't really going to like what you're gonna say.

Ok, so now back to the pervertedness.

Why do people do that? Do they think it's endearing? Do they think girls actually like being told that random guys would like to fuck them anywhere, anytime? Do they seriously think they'll get some action if they start a conversation like that? The whole pick-up line thing can be cute, I admit. If you're original, you'll probably be getting a number at the end of the conversation. But if you use the same ones over and over again, (i.e. Did it hurt when you fell?, What's your sign?, I lost my number, can I have yours?, etc.) chances are, you're not gonna make it through the first sentence. If you use something original and FITTING to the girl you're trying to ask out, you're going to get a lot further.

Don't guys know it's totally offensive when you open with something like "you're bangable"? It's like saying, "I'd bang your mother right in front of you, cause she's smokin'," to your wife on your wedding night. You know it's wrong, you know you shouldn't, but you do and guess what? You're not getting any.

So my advice to any guy who wants to start a conversation like that with any girl, even the sluttiest girl:

Don't do it.

Find some other way to be creepy.

--Cassy

To Mr. Ian Chamberlain:

2009-08-03T19:42:00.005+02:00

Oh, this is gonna be good. Caution: This post contains strong language and lots of direct Ian-bashing.

You've been warned.

First of all, who the hell do you think you are? Do you really think you can tell Kaytee that her words hurt you so she has to take down the blogs she posted? Are you fucking kidding me, man? What gives you the right to tell her what she can and can't write about, huh? What gives you the right to tell her she hurt you?! For some reason, she gives a flying fuck about your sorry excuse for a life. But hey, guess what.

I don't.

So here's a little shoutout to you, dickhead: GET A FUCKING LIFE. If you didn't want to hear about what a douche you've been to Kaytee, you shouldn't have read her blog, you fucking imbecile. Frankly, I think Kaytee should've written a really nasty blog about you just to spit in your face, but instead she played nice and deleted all of the blogs for you.

I'm not giving you the courtesy.

It's not your place to tell anyone that they should delete their personal thoughts from their personal blog. Even if that blog is about you, the MOST you can ask is that they change your name. I don't care if you fucking begged her to take them off, you don't deserve it. You've been a shithead for as long as I've known you (and yes darling, you do know and hate me) and I can honestly tell you, for as much shit as you put her through, I think your punishment should be having to read those blogs over and over again for the rest of your life.

You do NOT trash my friends, you do NOT break a girl's heart, you do NOT lie to people, you do NOT refrain from communication, you do NOT inform a girl that you broke up with her months ago, you do NOT ask for help and then throw shit in her face after she's given you everything.

Plain and simple, Ian, you're a fucking moron who doesn't deserve any girl's time or interest. You're an idiot, an asshole, a dickhead, a liar, and worst of all:

You know it and don't do a fucking thing about it.

So I want you to read this. I want you to get mad. I want you to comment on this and yell at me just so I can give you another little piece of my mind. And if you stay silent, then I'll take that as defeat and your sorry ass can kiss mine.

With love,

--Cassy

Birthday Wishes

2009-08-03T16:45:00.004+02:00

I'd like to take this completely random post to wish my cousin Ben the happiest of 7th birthdays. <3 you, Ben, you rugged and manly 7-year-old. x)

The Infamous Hair

2009-07-24T08:25:00.004+02:00

Well, I'm doing it again. I think I'm a serial hair-colorer. I just bought a package of platinum blonde hair dye yesterday and I plan on changing my feathers once again this weekend. Wish me luck. x/

In other news, my year-long nagging has finally paid off: I am now the proud owner of TWO (count em, TWOOOO) baby kittens, Kovu (right) and Luna (left). I dunno how it happened, but one day my stepdad and I were out buying things and on the way back, I made a comment about getting a cat and he said yes, so I told my mom and she told me to do research. It didn't work for a while, but then we finally found a lady with some cats she was giving away and it worked!

So now we have two 9-week-old kittens running around the house. Just yesterday I bought some collars for them (as you can see, they're pretty much identical...) and they were a little big for them, so they got the idea that if they put one leg through the collar as well as their necks, they would look super-cool and that was really how a collar worked. Well...they've been running around the house with a pink and a black collar around their legs and necks and they look like mini kitten soldiers. o.O

Very stylish mini kitten soldiers, at that. ^^

These collars also happen to have tiny little bells on them that jingle when they jump, so Luna, in her infinite wisdom, keeps jumping all around the house whenever she goes anywhere, just so she can hear the bell jingle.

Other than having the obsession with the bell, Luna eats like no one's business. She will literally push Kovu away from the bowl to eat. And Kovu lets his sister do it, too. He's not very leader-like. He'll walk the walk, and play the game, but when it comes to leading, he's always behind. He's definitely the calmer of the two (although right now Luna's sleeping on my shelf and he's on my lap, very much awake), but the little boy does love to play. He also loves to hide.

Kovu is the leader when it comes to finding hiding places. He found out you can hide behind the bookshelf in the livingroom, on top of the DVD player on the TV table, behind the wrap-around couch, between the legs of the table, behind the flowers in the kitchen, behind the garbage cans, behind my CPU, in the laundry basket, under the bed, in the closet, under the bench on the balcony, on my shelf, on the windowsill, on top of the box under the table in the foyer...He's a master, alright.

Luna holds the record for playtime, though. She's always watching, staring, playing, grabbing. I was filing my nails yesterday and the whole time, I swear, she was following the file back and forth with not only her eyes, but her entire head. "Oh, look, it's going that way! And back in the other direction! This is so amazing!" She's also always the first to come over when I'm eating. Doesn't matter what I'm eating. Pizza, hotdogs, chicken, rice - no problem with any of it. If it looks like food and it smells like food, it's food and she's gotta eat it.

I realize I never posted the end of school. It was like two weeks ago. Report card wasn't too bad:

Math - D
German - C
English - A
Latin - B
French - B
Geography - C
History - B
Physics - A
Music - A
Art - A
Communication - A
Gym - A
Computer Science - A
Biology - C

Biology was the only real surprise. In that class, participation and points count. In the first semester, I had a D, I'd given in a few projects and I got some pretty bad test scores. In the second semester, I didn't give anything up, I got a D on the first test and a B on the second and he gave me a C. He has this system where he asks what grade we think we should get, so I told him the truth. I deserved a D at most but probably an F. He looked at me, sighed, and said, "Why do people always underestimate themselves?" and handed me the C for nothing. I was so amazed, it was freaky.

Ok, so this post is long enough already. Be good and you might get some pics of the new hair!

Liebe, amore, agape, الحب, Любов, 爱, l'amour...

2009-07-16T12:25:00.003+02:00

Love.

love
[luhv] noun, verb, loved, lov⋅ing.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

That's how the dictionary defines love. But is love always tender? Can't it also be vigorous, hurtful, agonizing or maybe even a little wild? Is there any true definition of love? Does everyone feel the same kind of love?

In movies, love is always the same: That can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of thing. Boys meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl falls in love with boy, a little trouble, a little passion, some doubt - but in the end, they're always together. And at the end of the movie, you're always left sighing and wondering, "Will I ever find that perfect love?"

The answer to that question is quite simple: No.

Movies represent what COULD happen, but never what really happens. Sure, you COULD bump into a stranger in the supermarket, drop some groceries, get to chatting, fall madly and deeply in love and live happily ever after...but chances are, it won't happen like that. Instead, you might bump into a friendly stranger in the supermarket, drop something, laugh about it for a moment and then go your separate ways.

Maybe you'll meet the person again in the supermarket, only this time, you don't bump into each other and drop something, you joke about it. And then that joke might escalate into doing your shopping together. And then afterwards, you'll both go to your cars and drive home, thinking about the previous half hour and smiling. And maybe it'll happen again. And again. And again, until finally, one of you decides that they'll get the courage to ask the other out. And then the shopping dates turn into dinner dates. And the dinner dates turn into a relationship. And the relationship turns into love. And that love might turn into marriage and children and whatnot.

But I wouldn't recommend flirting with the first person you bump into in a supermarket. Chances are, they'll think you're just a little desperate.

Love doesn't happen in a millisecond. Love at first sight is a wash. Love takes time, feeling and hope. Lots and lots of hope that one day you really will find that special person and fall in love. There are no particular rules when it comes to love. Love can happen anywhere, any time, any place. It doesn't always make itself known right away. Sometimes it even shows up after it's too late to do anything about it. Love can be wicked and cruel. Love can torture your heart and break your soul in half. You can love from afar, you can love the person sitting right next to you in class. You can love your best friend and you can love your worst enemy.

There are no limits. Love can make you promise to give someone the moon. Love can make you do stupid things. Love can make you want to kill yourself. Love can be the most important thing in your life. Love is the most powerful emotion a person can feel. Some people even say it's like a drug. Or, as Bette Midler would say,
"Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed."

Love is a different feeling for everyone. Like in the Harry Potter books, the strongest love potion, Amortentia, gives off a different scent to every person who smells it, according to what attracts them. Rowling also makes it clear that that potion is very dangerous, another adjective you could use to describe love.

If you asked two completely different people what love feels like, you'll get two completely different answers. Like snowflakes, no two loves are the same.

So can we define love? As a "profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person"? Or can we only say that love is a powerful kind of magic that rests deep in our hearts and blooms when we've found the right person?

Well, that's the beauty of magic: It's a very old secret.

We can save the world if we do it together-

2009-06-10T19:49:00.003+02:00

When you’re a child, you watch the Disney movies and think, "I wish I could live like that." You wish you could be a prince or princess, live in a castle, find your one true love, beat the bad guys and have a happily ever after. But have you ever wondered where these stories come from? Or why we don’t see the true meanings and horrors of those stories when we’re children? For instance, the story "Cinderella" comes from the Austrian version, "Aschenputtel".

A story of a girl whose father died when she was very young, leaving her in the care of her evil stepmother, who puts her to work in the house to pay for shelter, food and clothing. She has to wait on the evil stepsisters, does any of this sound familiar yet? Well, it should if you’ve been a diligent reader/ watcher. But what differs from the much-loved Disney Princess Cinderella is that at the end, when the prince comes to collect his princess by showing the slipper around the country and seeing if it fits, in order to fit into the slippers, the stepsisters each cut off something from their feet.

The prince, not noticing anything because of the dresses and his eccentricity at having found his one true love, rides away with each sister, only to be stopped minutes later by the friendly birds we see in the Disney Cinderella, only in the real version, they’re ravens. They cry out to the prince, "Look! Look at her feet! Blood flows from them, she is not the one!" The prince takes the girl back and, as punishment for her foolishness and deceit, the ravens pluck out her eyes, leaving her blind and ugly.

You see the horrors that our beloved Disney movies once were? It’s all well and good to change a story around so that it can be rated G for young children, but the horrors of the real stories seep into the child-friendly versions and children grow up to believe that all bad guys are defeated in the end.

Only, how are we supposed to know who the bad guy is and who the good guy is? There aren’t any princes and princesses anymore (unless you really count the Queen’s family in England as ruling the whole world…) and there are no more dragons to slay. The classic fairytale story has evolved into a twisted, complex story that no one person can understand. Do the alleged "bad" guys we hear about in the news really do what they do because they think they’re being bad? Or do they have their own ideas about their actions, somehow justifying it in their eyes, making what we see as horrible and sinful beautiful and good?

It can’t be understood unless we try. And we have definitely not been trying. Sure, there are just some sick people out in the world who crave blood, destruction and pain, but if you take a closer look at most of the people in the news, if you look into their childhoods, if you could somehow go back in time, you’d find at least one thing that happened to the to trigger their abusive and bad behavior.

In some cases, they may not even know what they’re doing is wrong, because it’s what they were brought up to believe in-it’s the only thing they know. Parents make a bigger impression on their children than anyone would like to let on. Every teenager, no matter where, who, what personality, has once said that they would not grow up to be like their parents. And yet, there they are, living the lives they were meant to live-Living the only way they know how, the way their parents taught them.

Orphans could disagree with this theory-there are also orphan serial killers, murderers, robbers, etc. But the reason they turn out to be like they are could also be traced back to their parents. They were abandoned as children, they spent their lives watching people be taken into loving homes while they had to stay behind and lose their free will, feeling unloved and unwanted. They blame the parents they never knew; never questioning if their parents had no choice or if they really wanted to keep them, but the circumstances weren’t in their favor.

Some orphans even fancy the idea of their parents coming back for them one day, based upon a story a caretaker in the home might’ve told them, or rumors about the child that the older orphans made up. Its things like these that make people bitter, make people want other people to hurt as much as they did when they were growing up. They see it as a huge injustice to be left alone when so many other children are staying at home with their parents, safe and loved, with a family that knows them. Those children have pictures of their infancy, they have birth certificates, and they have people who will love them no matter what.

Can we really blame them for feeling that way? If you were to be taken away from your mother and father all of a sudden and you knew they didn’t want you and you would never see them again, how mad would you be? Imagine growing up with that, but you’d never known your parents. They were just blank faces in a crowd, not looking for you, not caring. You would be mad. But it all depends on what kind of person you make yourself out to be.

If you’re the kind of person who sticks up for everyone, the kind of person who cares whether a bully is being beaten up, a person who wants to make the world a better place in hopes that no one will have to go through what you went through, I think it’s very safe to say that you won’t become a bitter serial (-parent) killer. But who knows? You could be the happiest child in the world and you could still have a thing for killing people. It’s very hard to determine why people kill each other. For power? For money? For the rush? Do they have a choice or are they being forced?

There are a million different reasons someone could become a killer when they’re older. But if we all chip in and try to make the world a better place, we would all live a lot longer. You never know if someone is going to stop you on the sidewalk and kill you seven months later after following your every move. You can’t see into the future, no matter how hard you try. The future is a mystery, one that doesn’t like to be solved so easily.

A small smile could go a long way in this world, because, we have to face it, we’re all interconnected with each other. I know a boy in America who knows a girl in America who knows some people in Korea, who know some people in Russia, who know some people in Italy, who know some people in Austria, who know some people in Vienna, who know some people who know me. There are over 6.6 billion people on this Earth. Who’s to say we don’t know everyone if we just look at who we’ve met before?

The moral of this story: Not all things in life are easy, not all things are pretty, but if you see the best in life, you can make that smile go a very, very long way. And that’s the first step towards making this world a better place to live. Because if we keep on going at the rate we’re going at now, by the year 3000, there will be no Earth. We’ll have destroyed it so badly that no one will be alive and everything will go further to hell than it is now.

Morally Corrupt?

2009-05-01T13:30:00.004+02:00

So, I have this friend. She's run down a raggedy path lately, and she's not a perfect person (really, who is?). She had a baby at 16, but she's got a good place to live with her father and she's got a job and a loving boyfriend (the baby's actual father), but she couldn't juggle school, baby, job and boyfriend, so she left her baby with her father and moved in with her boyfriend, with the full intention of finishing school and then building her life up so she can better take care of her baby. But then she decided that she had a decent enough job, and she really couldn't live without seeing her child, so she dropped out of school and moved back in with her father.

Things have been going well. Her boyfriend asked her to marry him (she's 18 now), she's got her child, the love and support of her family, a stable job...but yesterday I found out that our mutual best friends aren't friends with her anymore because they found out that she'd cheated on her boyfriend and was planning on doing it again. So, because they know that what she was doing was wrong, they told her boyfriend. And then told her they couldn't be friends with her because cheating was the "last straw" for them.

Now, I can't really understand why they'd give up their almost 5 year old friendship because she made a few bad choices. One, it's none of our business if she cheats on her boyfriend or not. Sure, it makes her kind of sleazy, but does that change how she acts around us? Two, she'd never give up on us if we did something bad. Three, if her life is working out just fine without school, why should we tell her what she's doing is horribly, horribly wrong?

I mean, I have to confess, if I actually knew her boyfriend personally, I would probably have done something too...But that's just being considerate of other people. Would you want your doctor to not tell you your mother had a heartattack and then tell you you're not allowed to see her or ask her how she is? I don't think I'd approach the boyfriend, though. I'd try to appeal to my friend and tell her that she really needs to straighten things out. And if she didn't, I'd try a bit harder and if I still wasn't getting anywhere, I'd tell that if she wouldn't tell him herself, I would for her.

But she'd still be my friend no matter what. I liked her before I knew about all her flaws, so why should I stop liking her now that they're out in the open? She didn't do anything to personally offend either one of our friends, and I can see that they would be a bit skeptical about whether or not she's really trustworthy or not (I mean, you've probably gotta be a pretty good liar to get away with cheating), but still. Friends are supposed to be able to talk about everything and know that their secrets will be kept safe. Some secrets are meant to be told, I know that (i.e. Bulemia, Anorexia and other things that could seriously hurt the friend with the secret), but isn't a friend supposed to be someone who'll be your shoulder to cry on and who's not afraid to slap you in the face when you need it?

I don't think telling your friend's boyfriend your friend is cheating on him and then telling your friend you're not friends with them anymore really falls under the category of "slap in the face". More like "I don't think your lifestyle really fits mine and I won't compromise, so I'll just forget everything we ever had and throw the broken shards of your life in your face for kicks". < -- And that's not friendship.

So should I give those two friends the slap in the face they kind of need or respect their decision to dump one of their best friends?

x/

--Cassy

You all should know me by now...

2009-04-19T12:03:00.005+02:00

And you should also know that my hair changes every 3-6 months. Well...it did. Again. ^^

It's been blonde for a while, just blonde, no extra colors, and we all know I don't really like that, so Friday I went to the hair studio up the street to get some funky color put in my hair. I chose the "Cut and Stripes" from the specifically-for-teens list and it looks très awesome, if I do say so myself. ^^

The latest style (here in Austria, anyway) has been the concave cut - shorter in the back with a few layers and then gradually getting longer as it curves around the front? So, I'd gotten that a little while ago from Nelly and liked it so much that I thought I'd get it done again...Hehe. It was definitely a good choice. xD

It's not too short, but it's definitely not long, I can't put it into a pony anymore...Well, I can, it's just sorta weird. Haha. Originally, I was going to wait until May 8th to get my hair done, because that's the day I'm leaving for Rome (-jumpforjoy-) and I kinda wanted my hair to look all nice and spruced up for the first day of the trip. But I was bored on Friday and I had nothing to do after I cleaned the house, so I decided to get my hair cut.

I'd been thinking about it for a little while before, too...I kept picturing myself with this cut and candy blue stripes all over...Don't exactly know why candy blue, since it's totally not my color, but it looked pretty cool, so I was willing to give it a try. I'll try almost anything at least once. ^.- So, I called up the place and asked if they had a spot open for me later that day and they said sure, so I made the appointment. Well, then Mom called to tell us she'd be a little late getting home because she was going to miss her train, and it turned out she was gonna come in about half and hour before I had my appointment, so I asked her if she wanted me to meet her right at the train station, since it was next to where I had to go anyway and she said sure.

When the time came to leave, I did, and I made my way up to the station at a semi-normal pace (I think it might've been a little faster than my normal one, but it's probably just because my music was a little more upbeat) and ended up having to wait for her for a few minutes, because I was early. She arrived on time and we still had those 30 minutes before we had to be at the place, so we went shopping. Got some grapes and soft pretzels, because we were hungry, and I even got a new bathing suit at Kik, which was pretty awesome. And then we went into the studio and had to wait for a while before the lady could get to me.

When she finally did, I had to choose what color I wanted my stripes to be (I got fifteen aluminum foil highlights with the deal) and she left to go give my mom an express "Cut and Go" haircut (it looks très awesome as well. ^^) and when she was done, she dealt with another lady who's hair was also being dyed and when that was finally done, she got to mixing the color I wanted, which is, dare I say it, dark purple. "Violet", if you want. Now, you all probably know what the purple looked like last time I had it - it was more pink than purple, right?

Well, this time it's not. It's dark purple. Definitely. And I swear, it looks really cool. I still have to take pictures sometime...I might get my mom to later. Who knows?

I have yet to see my hair curly with this new cut, because the stylist straightened it and I have been too, cause it just looks good like that right now, so I might let you know how it looks curly...if I feel the urge to post soon...^^

Tata!

--Cassy

Seasons greetings ^.-

2009-04-12T16:06:00.002+02:00

Happy Easter, everyone! Hope you all have a wonderful celebration!

Math

2009-03-19T15:38:00.003+01:00

sucks. Period. End. Nothing else. Stupid test...

--EDIT--

I got a friggin D.

What is love...

2009-03-09T10:32:00.003+01:00

Ok, so, I just got off of Facebook after commenting on one of my friend's recent blogs. It was about love and how "I love you" shouldn't just be thrown around the way it is today. It really struck me and after I commented, I realized that this is a really universal topic, so I wanted to display some of my feelings here...

To me, love is something I can't even begin to understand. I don't think I've ever experienced, but if I have, how am I even supposed to know? There are stories people tell you about how they fell in love with their spouse, but I always ask myself: "How do you know it's love? How can even start to explain those feelings?" I don't know, maybe there's this little voice inside of your heart that says to your mind, "You're in love! Be happy!" Or maybe you just know. Like I said, I'm no judge, because I'm pretty sure I've never felt it (if I was sure I had, I would be less of a sceptic about it, probably), but it seems to means that no one can ever explain love to someone else because love is like snowflakes. No two snowflakes are identical, no two experiences of love are the same.

I've already hopefully made myself painfully clear on the subject of "love at first sight", so I won't go into extreme detail there, because the concept is utterly ridiculous. When you look at a person, all you see is their outer appearance and whatever you want them to be. You don't know them, don't know what they're like, how they speak, how they react to different situations, if they'll even spare you the time of day! Love at first sight is completely useless and probably very depressing to all of those who think they've found it.

The question of "when should I tell him/her that I love them?" is troubling. When is the right time to say those three immortal words? Some people, people I know think that they are able to say it after knowing the guy/girl for a week, sometimes only after going out with them after two days. It's ridiculous. No one could ever know that fast. That kind of leaks into the whole "love at first sight" thing. It's more of a..."love on first date" kinda thing, but whatever.

Love should take time. It should be patient, it should be understanding. It should not be rushed, it should not happen magically all of a sudden. You can't just look at someone and say, "Oh, yeah, I'm going to marry him/her someday." I mean, you can...but that doesn't mean you love them, or that they love you. What if you think you're in love with someone after only a third date. You probably haven't met their parents, you might not have even been to their house at all. And if you get married, thinking that person is right for you, after three dates, what happens next? You're sitting in bed, talking, when suddenly, your spouse tells you something unbelievable that you can't live with. What are you going to do? Or what if you get married and they tell you they're still in love with their ex? You're left broken and bruised, and it's all your fault because you couldn't wait for that fourth date before you got married.

My rules of dating:

1. I have to have known the guy for at least a year before I date him.

2. He has to know my parents, be comfortable with them (it's not hard), and I have to do the same.

3. We have to have been dating for over a year (preferrably two) before he can even think about proposing.

4. The engagement has to be at least six months, at most, a year.

5. Sex before marriage is not an option. If he can wait, he's a keeper.

6. If he says "I love you" before our six month anniversary, the deal's off, he's gone until he can learn his lesson. (If he breaks the rules, he has to wait six more months before he can ask me out again, and then all rules are back in tact, starting from number 3!)

7. He has to be comfortable with my friends, and vice versa.

8. No ultimatums in the friend department. I'm not allowed to tell him his friends aren't good for him, and he's not allowed to tell me to stop hanging with mine. It's preferable if we have the same friends.

9. No moving in with eachother unless we're both completely, 100% comfortable with it. (I'd prefer to make it "until we've been going out for a year", but I'm pretty ok with sharing space).

10. We each have to be able to spend time with other people every once in a while. I won't claim your attention if you don't claim mine. He has to be able to have a boy's night, and I have to be able to "get my girl on".

11. He should like animals. If he doesn't, he has to be ok with being my pet sometimes. ^^

12. Gifts are appreciated, but not neccessary. If you want to get back on my good side after a fight, do it with words, not with money. It impresses me more.

13. No hiding feelings. I promise I won't laugh. If he doesn't.

14. I'm completely fine if he looks at other girls, even if I'm with him. Warning: You might get glared at and slapped at the time, but later, I'll probably laugh with you about it. You can look, but not touch.

15. He has to like families. He doesn't have to want his own right away, but he should be cool with my family. No one gets between me and my big family. End of story. It'd be fun if he had a big family, too.

16. If we do get married, he is so totally helping me plan. I don't care how uncoordinated he is, he's helping. It should be fairly easy because I want to keep it simple.

I know, those are a LOT of rules...but some are negotiable. I'm a very easy person to get around. Unfortunately.

--Cassy

Volleyball = Deathtrap

2009-03-05T07:46:00.004+01:00

Picture this, if you will:

A gymnasium, sectioned into three parts by plastic hanging (very heavy) curtains.

The middle section has set up a volleyball field.

Five people on each side, building the star team formation.

Two players by the net, one directly in the middle, and two flanking the back.

First game:

Player on the opposing team kicks the ball OVER the ten foot tall curtain and into the adjacent section.

Second Game:

Player on my team gets hits in the face with the ball five times. In a row. By the same person. Personal vendetta? Possible, not probable.

Third Game:

Switch teams. Girl gets hit in the face again.

Fourth game:

Ball doesn't get hit four different times due to myself and the person in back of me (me: middle position, him: back right) talking about blindness and glasses. Conversation:

-ball flies towards us, hits between us, we just stand there-
Jakob: I didn't see the ball.
Chloe: I'm blind, I couldn't see it either...
Jakob: You're blind? Seriously? How many dioptrines do your glasses have?
Chloe: -4.50 and -4.25...
Jakob: I know someone with 13! That's seriously blind, right?
Chloe: Wow...that must suck. At least I can still see SOMETHING when I take mine off...
-ball flies again, hits between us, we look at each other-
Together: Oops...

Between games two and three:

Boy decides to work on his service, I stay with him to fetch the ball (and I don't have anything to drink in the locker room, so I don't have a reason to take a break) and play it back to him. We do this for a while, my friend Pezi comes back in, sees us laughing and playing Volleyball and chatting. First thing she says to me? "What's going on with you and Benny?"

Volleyball = Deathtrap.

Nuff said.

--Cassy