I'm Falling and I Can't Get Up
I broke down in a Redner's parking lot a few days ago. I just sat in the car, engine off, silent, staring at the steering wheel for a full five minutes before the first tear slipped down my face. The entire time, though, all I could think was, "I'm so stupid. I should not be crying right now." But I was. Because I was hurt. Because I was sad. Because for the umpteenth time in my life, a connection I had hoped and wished for was not made, and my expectations were bitterly not met. And it really, really stung. But the thing is, I had absolutely no reason to have any expectations at all. Not really, anyway. I went by a co-worker's place to pick up an Ace bandage that I had lent him because my wrist had started hurting. I was totally content to pick it up at work whenever, but he'd insisted I should come pick it up that day because he "felt bad" and wanted me to have it back. So I went. On the way there, I played up the encounter in my mind. Maybe I...