Rain

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Well, we did it, Jacob. We finished High School.

 

As Beth stared at the large brick building that’d been her school for the past four years, her eyes welled up. Not because she was leaving a safe haven of sorts, or because she now had to face college and the real world all by her lonesome, without the comfort of friends and relatives nearby. Not because she was leaving some of the nicest teachers she’d ever known, people who’d taught her important life lessons as well as the basics of society and all that other school stuff they taught. 

No, it was the thought of graduating 17^th out of a class of 211, formerly 212. Jacob was her best friend and now he was gone. He didn’t even make it to his own graduation. He never got to see his best friends trip up the stairs to collect their diplomas with big, toothy grins on their faces as they shook the principal’s hand. 

 

The pain in her chest was no longer fresh, but it hurt just the same as the moment she’d heard of his death. 

It was a regular May day, the sun was shining, there were children playing Four Square on the street, screaming and laughing and discussing the important rules that applied to the games when her phone rang. It was Jake’s mother. She picked it up with a cheerful, “hello,” to her second mother. It wasn’t unusual for Mrs. Aarons to call Beth—on the contrary, it was a regular occurrence. Whether she was calling to ask where Jake was or if Beth was coming for dinner or just to say hi and ask how she was doing, Mrs. Aarons was always greeted with the same “hello.” Today was no different. 

 

The conversation that followed, however, was different than any they'd ever had, or would ever have.  Jacob had been in an accident, Mrs. Aarons reported, her voice audibly cracking under the strain of tears no doubt falling from her eyes. He was in the intensive care unit at the hospital. He wasn’t going to make it. She should come and say goodbye. 

 

She remembered that moment better than anything in her entire life. Shock – denial – disbelief – anger – unbearable sadness. Sadness so suffocating that she could barely breathe. She couldn’t really remember what happened from the time after she hung up the phone to when she walked over to his bed, but she imagined she didn’t want to remember. Probably more painful heart-throbbing. 

Her last moments with Jacob were far too short for her liking -- less than a minute, although it felt like barely a second. She’d said goodbye, told him she loved him, that she would miss him. She’d even begged him to keep fighting and hang on, that there might be something someone could do. But she knew it was in vain. Jake was dead and Beth was alone with his family. 

The next few hours were a blur of tears and hugs. His older sister, Jessica, arrived 2 hours after he was pronounced dead and the tears swelled again. His father couldn’t bear to see his wife and daughter so sad and his son lying dead on the hospital bed, so he left to get air. Beth needed to grieve on her own as well. 

 

She became a ghost after his death. She took a week off of school because she couldn’t go anywhere without beginning to cry. Her first week back, she got sent to the guidance counselor far too many times to count. Other students, kids she'd known her entire life, stopped even trying to get her to participate. She barely paid attention in class and her former class participation streak fizzled out in no time. She could make all the mechanical motions, but the laughter, the light, the happiness…it was all gone. She could no longer force a laugh or smile even in the easiest of situations. Smiles were meant for good times, she would tell herself. Not times like these, when your best friend can’t share them. 

June passed like this much like May, and even Beth's good scores on her finals didn't warrant a smile or a surge of pride. Beth was becoming a zombie. Her mother was even considering sending her to a therapist so she could deal with her problems before it got worse, but Beth refused to go. What good would a therapist do her? He couldn’t bring Jake back. He couldn’t make her as happy as Jake could. 

And then graduation day rolled around. While everyone else was busy scurrying around everywhere, saying, “goodbye,” and “good luck,” and “I’ll miss you," Beth was leaning up against a wall in her cap and gown, taking deep breaths and willing herself to just get through this. She’d promised herself that once graduation was over, she’d start smiling again. She’d go back to normal, no matter how hard it seemed. She would let go of the past—at least enough to not forget but to not let it take over her. 

 

The ceremony was normal, with the exception of the moment of silence for the lost student. Beth almost started crying then and there, but she pulled herself together and bowed her head. The speeches might’ve been truly amazing, but she wouldn’t have noticed if the sky was pink and pigs were flying with wings made of jello. She just wanted it to be over so she could leave this haunted town and start her new life. Her name was among the first, so she grabbed her diploma, forcing a tight smile—the first in a month—and went back to her seat, shaking various people’s hands as she passed them.

And then it was over. Everyone applauded, the caps were thrown in the air, the no-longer-Seniors left the football stadium to give their caps and gowns back. They were allowed to keep their tassels, and once they’d returned what needed to be returned, picked up what needed to be picked up, and left the school building, they were officially no longer high school students. Beth picked up Jacob’s tassel, diploma and other documents for Mrs. Aarons and left the building, not looking at anyone. 

His mother thanked her tearfully, gave her a big hug and a “Congratulations, I’m so proud of you,” and left. Not knowing what to do after that, Beth hung around the school until everyone else was gone. She was supposed to come straight home after graduation, she'd promised her mother she would, but she couldn’t leave. This had been the last place she’d seen him alive. 

School was finally out on Friday and Beth and Jake couldn’t wait to get home and relax. Who knew Senior projects could be so stressful? As if compiling a bunch of photos for a scrapbook was really all that hard…Turns out, it was. 

 

“We should probably collect some football game ticket stubs and Prom tickets and stuff to glue on the pages to make it look a little prettier than just picture after picture,” she suggested, hoisting her messenger bag over her shoulder as they descended the staircase to the buses. “I think I have some ticket stubs somewhere at home…I’ll look for them,” he replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I can get some stickers and stuff at the store today… and I think I have an extra Prom ticket for some reason…I think Adam gave me his or something. We can use that.” “Sounds good. See you Sunday?” “Sure. Bye!” she called, waving to him as she darted to catch her bus, which was about to leave. The thought never even crossed her mind that she might not see him again. 

 

It was too hot out, but the sun was warming her skin after being cold for so long, and if she was going to remember Jake, she wanted to remember his warmth. He was always as warm as the Summer sun.

Band camp was a waste of time if you weren’t in band. Jacob knew it. Bethany knew it. So why did she come, again? Oh, that’s right. Stupid Jake. At least it was over now… But of course it would start to rain the moment they got outside. And it was a long, long way to his house… and his mom wasn’t home to pick them up…They’d just have to brave it. But boy, by the time they got to his house, they were soaked through and freezing. As soon as they got inside, Jake headed to the bathroom to get two towels, handing one to her and beckoning for her to follow him upstairs. He gave her some dry clothes, and once they were on and she was still shivering, they got under his covers and watched a movie. By the end, she was sufficiently toasty.

Beth had always liked the rain. Especially Summer rain, when it was balmy and warm. That rain had been cold, but the memory warmed her from the inside. Warm Summer rain was best experienced outside. Sticky T-shirts, hot legs, and feet in sandals were washed down with a fresh splash of rain and you felt good as new. She’d told him that a lot. “Summer rain is my happy rain. No matter what’s going on, it makes me feel better.” Unfortunately for her, they were in the middle of a drought. No happy rain for her. 

 

There went her phone. Probably her mother asking where she was. Yep. Predictable. Normally she wouldn’t bother to write back, but since she was trying to change and not be so down, she wrote back.  

“Still at school.” 

It took a while for her mother to get back to her, even though the message was short. Her mother was a little technologically challenged. 

“Stay there. Ellen’s picking you up.” 

So the family was there. And her Aunt Ellen would be picking her up. Great. That meant that a bunch of other people would be with her. Sam, Bianca, Penny, James… to name a few. 

 

They’d probably end up taking her grocery shopping, too. As if that was what she wanted to do right now: have a barbeque thrown in her honor. But she’d put the smile on her face and act like she was happy they were there. She was, in a way. If she had to be around people, why not the only people in the world she loved more than her late best friend? 

When she felt her pocket vibrate once more, she knew they were almost there. Turning to face the school, all she could think was, “Well, we did it Jake. We finished High School. I wish you were here for the last of it. Everything we heard was true. It was gratifying and hard and fun all at the same time. So worth it.” Beep! Beep! There they were. Glancing over her shoulder at the gray minivan, she saw more people than she’d expected, and only one of them was a familiar face, her Aunt Ellen. She couldn’t make out the others, other than that they were male and vaguely familiar. Beeeeep! She was waving now. 
 

Turning away from the school, she said, “Goodbye.” When the car door was open, she hesitated, looking at the ground. Not long enough for her aunt to get even more aggravated, but just long enough for a tiny drop of rain to fall directly onto her cheek. She looked up, frowning, just as it started pouring rain. Not just any rain, though. Warm, Summer rain. Happy rain. 

 

And she smiled. And she laughed. She stood there, half in the car, half out, the rain pouring down on her as hard as it could, and she was laughing. Putting her hands up and tilting her head back, she said, “Thank you!”

Her aunt, of course, was worried, but that was ok. Beth finally felt like everything would be ok. The rain on graduation day as she was turning her back to her best friend was no coincidence in her mind. It was Jacob, telling her to be happy and not sad. 

And it's best not to anger a spirit, don’t you think?